Parenting Style, One of the Worst Ever!
Some parents rush to serve every squeak and squawk from their
kids. "I can't let my child feel pain!" said one dad. Parents,
if you are giving way too much, find out why your parenting
strategy may be one of the worst strategies ever. I remember
counseling with a teenager and her mom. The young girl sassed
and criticized her principal, her teachers, and her family. She
yelled if any of them said:
"Do your chores."
"Do your homework."
"You can't "hang
out" with your friends."
Her mother revealed how her kid got so sassy:
"I've tried to please Suzy (not her real name) ever since she
was a baby." "I've given her everything she ever wanted." "Maybe
I shouldn't have done so much for her."
Bingo! Her mom hit the nail on the head. It's too bad she
didn't realize it when her daughter was much younger. Now she
had a tyrant on her hands.
I believe many parents know the right thing to do but can't
quite bring themselves to be firm. Part of them believes if they
don't ruffle any feathers their children will be wonderful and
happy. The other part knows from their kid's selfish behavior
that it isn't working.
If you want to raise a self-centered kid who will grow up to
be a self-centered adult just:
Give your child everything
Expect nothing
Accept
disrespect
Let your child tell you what to do
Forget you
are the parent
Being firm takes backbone. Parents with backbone know that life
isn't always easy. They prepare their children for life. They
are both kind and firm because they:
Think before they speak
Say "No" and mean it
Act
consistent and follow through
If you've been too kind and not firm, you can change.
Expect your child to do everything possible to get you to be a
doormat again. You'll need to suck in your breath and put up
with even more hollering and disrespect. Be consistent and don't
get caught up in your child's tantrums. It's the best way to
change your worst parenting strategy ever into one that builds
character.