Family Management Tip #1: Getting Your Family to Pitch In
Family life is busy. It's hard enough to manage your own time,
but in a family you're responsible for managing everyone's time.
And like any other team, your family cannot succeed without
teamwork. Problem is, even though you may be close to your
family members, they still tend to take a lot of things for
granted. It's not like you're facing a competing team in a match
everyday, so how do you rally the troops to keep your family
running smoothly?
If you're like the typical household organizer, you're barely
getting through a day without goading or reminding your spouse,
the babysitter, or the kids several times about what chore or
homework or sports activity they're supposed to be doing or not.
And, on occasion, either you or your spouse ends up at wrong
place or the wrong time, and there is enough frustration to go
all around. Surely, there's got to be a better way!
There is. It's called family management. No doubt, love is the
basis for a happy family. But a little management will go a long
way in keeping that institution running smoothly.
Family Management ought to be taught in school. These days,
there are some schools offering programs on family management,
and that's a good thing. Most of us have never even thought of
the term even though we may deal with the issues every day. Some
of us are probably even good family managers!
If you take a step back and think about everyday life, it offers
some of the same challenges any team of unconnected individuals
will come to face if they need to live in close quarters and
work towards some common goals. In other words, workgroups
everywhere face almost exactly the same set of challenges that a
family faces. Workgroups spend a lot of time and resources
towards managing teamwork. Families generally don't, and they
should.
The UCLA Center for Everyday Living noted in a recently
concluded study that between two careers and parenting, there
are three jobs, but only two people to run them. I'd add that
there's a fourth job - household management. Keeping all these
things running smoothly and retaining your sanity requires
efficient management.
Whether you're running a busy household or managing a small
team, what you need do to keep things running smoothly are the
same:
* Make daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists for everyone * Set
expectations * Monitor progress and provide frequent feedback *
Continually educate, motivate, and inspire
Get yourself a good family organizer. There are several
available. There are paper-based solutions and software-based
solutions (like the one my company, Mediabee, makes). Whichever
solution you pick, be sure that it meets all of the requirements
above.
But before you implement the solution, remember, you must get
your family's buy-in first. Not doing so would be to set
yourself up for failure. It is human nature to concentrate on
your own priorities, and your spouse and kids are human. (So are
you as a matter of fact.) The other, often overlooked, fact is,
men, women, and children are differently constructed and their
priorities tend to be dramatically different. Hence the need for
everyone to get on the same page as you start to put this
solution into practice.
Here are the things to discuss as put this system in place:
Why the system is needed.
Emphasize the positive aspects of what you're trying to achieve:
to be a healthy and happy family. You'd think this should be
obvious, but, as I said, people think differently, even if
they're your own family. Each family's situation is unique, so
you'll have to discuss the situation appropriately. Bottomline:
everybody has to do their part of the required chores, whether
or not they think it is a priority for them, or the "family"
isn't going to be happy. For example, the kids probably love
take-out meals, but you're not happy when you can't give them
healthy home-cooked meals. Everyone's basic needs have to be met
for the family to be happy and healthy.
What are the rewards for following the system.
This is the neat part. If everyone pitches in even for things
they don't consider a priority, then they're likely to get more
time for what they'd rather be doing (within limits, of course).
What is required of each person.
This is the actual mechanics of splitting the tasks between
people.
Your family organizer should allow you to easily delegate
routine tasks to each member of your household. They should have
a mechanism to indicate that they are doing their tasks on a
regular basis. You can associate a reward system - whether it's
allowance money or getting to watch their favorite show - with
the amount of progress they're making.
Putting this system in place can be very rewarding, because it
brings the family closer together as a team, and everyone
understands each other better. Whether or not you actually stick
with the system for the long haul will depend on how successful
you were at getting your family's buy-in. So plan this
carefully, and be sure to have a system that periodically
rewards good behavior. It worked for my family and I'm sure it
can for yours too.