Keeping your children safe
The purpose of this article is to address some of the key points
parents need to know in order to keep their children safe.
Let them know who can help them: When I was an officer I
participated in something called "Safty Town". What they did was
educated very young children (ages 4 to 5) on safety matters. My
role was to visit the children while in uniform, then the
instructor and myself would educate the children on how to
identify a police officer. We would point out things on my
uniform like my badge, radio, big belt with all sorts of stuff,
and the color of my uniform. The purpose was to get the children
to understand what a police officer would look like and more
importantly to let them know that we are there to help them if
they need help.
Often times when I was on duty and having lunch in a restaurant,
I would have some parent who was having a problem with their
young child, say something like "If you don't sit up straight I
will go tell that police officer to arrest you." Or, we would
have parents bring there children into our police station and
want us to threaten to arrest their child if they do not wear
their seatbelt or for some other discipline problem the parent
was having that day. This is a very counter productive thing to
do. What these parents are telling their children is that the
police are in a sense the boogey man and someone to be fearful
of. The major problem with this is; if something happens, the
child will be afraid to seek out a police officer for help.
If you are having a discipline problem with your child be the
parent and deal with it. Do not put it on the police
department's shoulders, it is not their child, nor their
problem. Attempting to have the police department dicipline your
child will do more harm than good. If you have had a bad contact
with the police you need to through that over the fence when it
comes to protecting your child. Because like it or not if your
child becomes missing the first organization your going to
contact will be the police department, no matter how you feel.
What is a stranger: It is common for parents to tell their
children the danger of going with strangers. The problem is what
is a stranger. What adults view as a stranger is different then
what a child may view as a stranger. Instead of addressing what
a stranger is, you need to address things a stranger may do and
address dangerous situations your child may have to deal with.
This makes it much easier for your child to understand. Below is
a list of common issues your child should be made aware of.
What if an adult wants you to do something you don't want to do?
First, every child should know that he or she has a right to say
"No!". We have a tendency to tell children to obey adults. This
makes them vulnerable to every adult. There are only certain
adults they should obey. And you should tell them who they are.
Teach your child to protect their personal space from unwanted
intrusion.
What if an adult asks you to keep a secret from your mother or
your father? No adult should ask a child to keep a secret from
their parents. If an adult, even someone they trust like a
babysitter or a relative, ever tells them to keep a secret, they
should tell you immediately. Molesters depend on the fact that a
child will keep their secret. What is a stranger? Children
should know that a stranger is any adult they don't know well.
That doesn't mean they're bad. It just means they haven't earned
your trust yet. Even someone they see every day, like a
neighbor, is a stranger if they don't know them well.
What if a stranger wants you to come to his car or house? If a
stranger pulls over and asks for help or wants to show you
something in his car, don't go to the car. Stand back and be
ready to run. You should explain that while it's OK for a child
to ask a grownup for help, grownups shouldn't ask children for
help. They should be asking other grownups. Abductors will use
many lures to draw children to them: They ask for help, like
directions for finding a pet. They seduce children with gifts,
candy, money or jobs. They make threats. They pretend to be
authority figures, like police and clergy. They say its an
emergency. "Your parents are hurt. I'll take you to the
hospital." What do you do if a stranger says he's come to pick
you up? For the safety of your child, you should have a secret
code word that just the family members know. If you ever send
someone to pick up your child, give them the code word. Your
child should not go near the car unless the stranger knows the
secret word.
What do you do if you think that someone is following you? Don't
be alone. Immediately run to a friend's house or the nearest
store and tell them. What if a stranger ever threatens you or
tries to grab you? Shout "HELP" and "I don't know you" and "call
911". And get away fast. Make a big scene so people will come.
Carry and use a personal attack alarm. Most abductors and
molesters will run away if their victim fights and attracts
attention with noise.
What if you're home alone and someone calls for your mother or
father? A child should never tell anyone they're home alone.
Just tell them "My parents can't come to the phone right now.
I'll take a message." And never open the door to any stranger.
What if you get separated while you are shopping or in another
public place? Whenever you go shopping, set up a meeting place.
If you get separated, don't search for each other. Immediately
go to the meeting place. Or ask a police officer, guard, or
employee for assistance.
Encourage children to walk and play together, to watch out for
each other. Young children should not be out alone, especially
in the evening.
Explain that if they're ever lost or abducted that you will look
for them until you find them. No matter what. This is critical.
Most abducted children are told by the abductors that their
parents don't want them anymore. If they believe it, they have
no place else to go.
Know the basics: Another thing that we did at safety town was to
make sure the children memorized the following: Their first and
last name Their age Their street address Their full telephone
number with area code Their parent's first and last name(s) This
information is very important and not very hard for even a young
child to remember as long as someone helps them. It would be a
good idea to make it a daily practice of having your child
repeat the above listed information to you on a daily basis,
that way they should get it memorized pretty quick. As a police
officer I had come across lost children who were unable to give
me their basic information, which made getting home a lot
harder.
There are more dangers then just strangers: Another thing that
was addressed in safety town was letting the children understand
what dangerous things they might find and what to do. Items such
as guns, knives, syringe needles etc