Parent's Report Card Time
by Lesley Spencer, MSc; Founder & President HBWM.com Inc.
A friend recently told me that he took his son out for a burger.
While they were eating, his son said, "Dad, do you know why I am
eating so slowly?" His dad said, "No. Why?" And his son replied,
"So I can have more time with you."
Those are powerful, thought-provoking words. Kids need their
parents. Kids desire their parents. They want our attention.
They want our affection. And kids need our unconditional love
and acceptance.
How are you doing in that area? Maybe its time for us as parents
to get a report card. What type of grade would you give yourself
in the following areas? And perhaps more importantly, how would
your children grade you? Take a moment to grade yourself and if
you are up for it, ask your children to grade you as well.
-- I praise my kids when they make good choices. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I look for opportunities to encourage my children. I'm their
best cheerleader. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I point out their strengths and build up their self-esteem
any chance I can. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I comfort them in their disappointments. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I enter into my child's world by sharing time and talking
with him or her daily. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I apologize to my kids if I respond in anger or make a
mistake as a parent. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions. _A _B _C
_D _F
-- I let them know I am a safe place if they need to talk. _A
_B _C _D_F
-- I look for teachable moments to teach my kids strong values.
_A _B _C_D _F
-- I try to role model healthy, moral choices for my children.
_A _B _C_D _F
-- I don't withhold affection, praise or attention from my
child as punishment. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I don't put unrealistic expectations on my children. _A _B
_C _D _F
-- I discipline in love, not in anger. _A _B _C _D _F
-- I let my children know they are loved unconditionally and
without qualification. _A _B _C _D _F
A statement that has stayed with me for a long time is "Rules
without Relationship = Rebellion." Creating and maintaining
lasting, deep, trusting relationships with our children is not
quick, and it is not easy. But is it worth it? I think you know
the answer.
There are definitely areas I need to improve in as a parent. How
about you? Like our children, we will get another report card.
If you need to improve in some areas, take some time to work on
them. And as Diana Ennen of VirtualWordPublishing.com states,
"Remember every step you take to improve is a step in the right
direction. Just keep taking those steps continually and you'll
see results."
One thing I make sure to tell my children often is that there is
absolutely nothing they can do to make me love them any less.
Sure, they can cause me to be disappointed, very disappointed,
and even angry. But my love for them will never lessen. And my
kids know that. To me, that deserves an "A".