Building Your Child's Honest and Fairness
Honesty and Fairness
Simply put, honesty means being truthful with ourselves and with
others. It means caring enough about others not to mislead them
for personal benefit. It means facing up to our mistakes, even
when we have to admit them to others or when they may get us
into trouble. Fairness means acting in a just way and making
decisions, specially important ones, on the basis of evidence
rather than prejudice. It means "playing by the rules" and
standing up for the right of everyone to be treated equally and
honestly.
To understand the importance of being honest and fair, children
need to learn that living together in a family, community or
even a nation depends on mutual trust. Without honesty and
fairness, trusting each other becomes very difficult, and
families--and societies--fall apart.
Words of caution:
There is a big difference between being dishonest--lying or
cheating-- and "making things up," as children often do in
fantasy play. If children are taught that not telling the truth
is "a bad thing," some young children might assume that it is
also a bad thing to pretend to be a princess or an astronaut.
Although you should discourage your child from deliberately
lying and cheating, you should also let him know that it is fine
to role play and pretend.
What You Can Do Be a model of honest relations with others.
Discuss with your child what honesty is and is not. Point out,
for example, that being honest doesn't mean telling someone you
think he looks ugly. Kindness goes along with honesty. Discuss
fairness (chances are that your child will bring it up) in
different situations. For example, how do we show fairness in
our family?
What does fairness mean to the community? What were standards of
fairness in the past? Talk about how you try to be fair in your
life and work. What issues of justice have you wrestled with?
Your adolescent will be particularly interested in talking with
you about these things.