Developing Your Child's Compassion
Character is a set of qualities, or values, that shape our
thoughts, actions,reactions and feelings. People with strong
character show compassion are honest and fair display
self-discipline in setting and meeting goals make good
judgments,show respect to othersshow courage in standing up for
beliefs have a strong sense of responsibility are good citizens
who are concerned for their community maintain self-respect.
Compassion
Compassion, or empathy, means identifying with and being
concerned about other people's feelings and needs. It provides
the emotional root for caring about other people. It allows us
to be understanding and tolerant of different points of views
and beliefs, it makes us aware of the suffering of others, and
it allows us to empathize with them or to feel their suffering
as our own.
Compassion also allows us to feel joy and excitement--rather
than anger and despair--at other people's successes and
achievements.
Babies may begin to cry when they hear other sounds of crying,
and coo and laugh when they hear others making happy sounds. By
the age of three, many children will make an effort to hug or
comfort another child or a parent who seems upset. As children
grow, compassion can guide their actions and behaviors in
positive ways. They underst and that by doing something wrong,
they cause others pain or unhappiness.
We can promote compassion by helping our children to think about
how others feel. For example, if your child says or does
something hurtful to another child, help him* to focus his
attention on the feelings of his victim by saying, for example,
"How do you think Zack feels? Would you like to feel like that?"
Children develop compassion by practicing acts of caring and
kindness towards others. As adults, we need to emphasize the
importance of helping others, giving others the benefit of the
doubt and being open to differences.
What You Can Do
Talk about the point of view of others as you watch TV, read
booksor discuss other people with your child. For example, ask,
"What doyou think that character is feeling and thinking?"
Show care toward others, such as doing errands for sick
neighbors or opening doors for others.
Give others the benefit of the doubt. If your child complains
that a classmate deliberately pushed her down on the way to
lunch, explain that sometimes when people are in a hurry, they
don't watch where they're going--they don't mean to push or hurt
anyone.
Be open to differences. If your child says "Our new neighbors
dressfunny," explain that people often wear clothes that reflect
theircultures or native countries.