COLLEGE ROOMMATES 101
"Don't expect to be best friends with your roommate, just settle
for not killing each other..."
"You would not believe how weird my roommate is..."
"My roommate from hell did it again..."
Yes, I heard all the roommate stories before I started college.
The majority of them were about how awful roommates were and how
it was impossible to get along. I had a major case of roommate
phobia before I started college and I was convinced that I would
get a psychopath for a roommate and everything would go downhill
from there. To my surprise, my roommate and I became best
friends and we decided to live together again this year.
I know it is definitely rare that my roommate and I ended up
best friends, but the truth is, everyone can learn to get along
with their roommates. It doesn't require that the two of you
become best friends, or even friends at all. You just need to
practice common courtesy. Here are a few helpful tips and
guidelines:
Dan's Roommate Survival Guide
1. The first thing you and your roommate should do is to sit
down and write a living contract together. List rules for the
room that the both of you agree to follow. For example, quiet
hours, telephone calls, borrowing each other's things, having
friends sleep over, etc. Writing the contract together ensures
that both of you understand what is agreed upon. Also, when one
of you breaks one of the rules, there is written proof that the
contract was violated, as opposed to the two of you arguing day
in and day out about what the rules were in the first place.
2. After the contract is written, try your best to follow it.
When you break one of the rules, apologize and acknowledge that
you broke a rule. Don't pretend it didn't happen or hope that
your roommate didn't notice. They probably did, and they will
get upset with you if you pretend it didn't happen. Also, when
your roommate breaks one of the rules, be forgiving, especially
if you've broken a few rules yourself. Don't hold grudges and
keep tabs of when your roommate broke the rules and bring it up
every time the two of you have a fight. This is extremely
annoying and your roommate will end up doing the same. Then the
two of you will have hour-long fights as both of you bring up
everything that the other person did wrong since the beginning.
3. Be considerate. If you spilled something, clean it up. Wash
the dishes after you use them, especially if the dishes aren't
yours. Don't take things without permission. If you see your
roommate studying, even if it isn't quiet hours, turn down the
volume. Being considerate is contagious and your roommate will
do the same for you.
4. And the most important tip of all, communicate with your
roommate. If something is bothering you, don't expect your
roommate to figure it out. Just tell him or her what it is and
try to work out something so that it isn't bothering you
anymore. It is so easy to just stop speaking to each other when
something goes wrong, but it won't get resolved that way.
Communication is the key!
I know that there are some really bad roommates out there and
these guidelines won't help everyone. For those people, I
recommend that you talk to your Resident Advisor as soon as
possible and tell him/her your situation. Your RA's are paid to
help you, so don't hesitate to go to them for support. They will
let you know if it is possible to change rooms and/or roommates
and what the proper procedure is.
Roommates are really nothing to be afraid of. They are people
just like you. Chances are, even if you and your roommate are
extremely different, you can still end up being friends. They
are going to be a big part of your school experience, so make an
effort to get along. And who knows? Maybe you will get lucky and
you and your roommate will have a best friend for
life-bridesmaid/ best man at your wedding-name your children
after each other kind of relationship. Good luck!