What's the Point?
(Our Rebellious Teens)
Great Grandparent's Point - That's the way it was, back then. We
did the best we knew how.
Grandparent's Point - You had it so much better than we did. I
wasn't even aloud to date, without my mother present.
Parent's Point - We weren't aloud to go anywhere that didn't
involve church and we gave you much more freedom than that.
Adult Child's Point - You didn't allow me to hang out with teens
and go cruising. I felt like I was caged. Yet, I give my
children choices wherein they can earn trust and freedom. I'm
the good parent and they still rebel.
Teen's Point - Who cares about points?
It makes no difference if you are the perfect parent. Adults
get no recognition for whatever part they did right. In fact,
because the teen feels controlled, they do not see that anyone
else did anything right.
They want to stop being treated like a child (even if they are
acting like one). They want the freedom to make their own
decisions and do not care that adults view their actions as
mistakes. They want their chosen paths to be respected because
it is their choice, just as we respect other adult's, without
trying to fix them. After all, these teens are almost 18 and are
tired of being treated as anything less.
In as much as we would like to help our 'almost adults' make
adulthood choices, amidst their period of regression (wherein
they behave more like a 12 year old), the power to control their
destiny is not ours.
There comes a time wherein the only option left is to let go,
to the extent their behavior is neither illegal or immoral, and
let God finish raising them. And in making the transition from
parent to friend, we discover our own need for growth; thereby
realizing God is not finished raising us, either.
Once we acknowledge that our need to control is a result of
fear, consider that fear does not come from God, remember that
we were once 'almost adults', too, and realize that God used our
immaturity to grow us into a better person ... perhaps, then, we
can trust God to protect our 'almost adults' from irreversible
harm and know He will be there to pick up the pieces for them,
too.