Have You Lost Your Mind?!
He was fighting me every step of the way, arched back, stiffened
legs and an indignant bellow. With my mind focused on securely
fastening my toddler in his seat, all else was an insignificant
distraction. Even when my remote became wedged between my
hipbone and the carseat and locked the doors. Even when my keys,
once secured in my pocket, dislodged and fell to the floor. Yes,
they were all just distractions. When I accomplished the chaotic
task and my son was secured in his babyseat I shut that door and
knodded with the confidence of a true champion.
Have you ever had one of those slow-motioned moments when you
know you just did something really unintelligent? Well, the ton
of bricks hit me right before that door slammed. My stomach sunk
and I looked at my babe who was staring back at me through a
slightly tinted window with those wide, bright blue eyes waiting
for me to make the next move. Thank goodness the windows were
cracked and more thanks and goodness that it was a cool Autumn
day. But what to do next flooded my head and my heart began to
race. Yes, my first thought was that nifty little yellow
tow-truck, but how long would it take to reach me? There must be
something else I could do, maybe try a little brute strength. I
positioned my forearms between the doorjamb and cracked window
as if I would miraculously pry it open...fruitless. Then, I
journeyed to the back hoping that the trunk would not be locked
in conjunction with the rest of the doors...to no avail. It was
a terrible moment. Though I was in the family-friendly
environment of my older son's swim lessons, I had to face that
fact that I would have to acknowledge my glaring blunder in
front of all the other kids, parents and teachers who would be
observing this whole ordeal unfold.
I rushed to the owner's side, who rushed to her office to phone
for help. She immediately called her roadside service.
Sensibility began to seap back into my head as I noticed panic
rushing into hers. I asked for a wire hanger. Yes, I realized
that today's lock tops are not as easily accessible as the
flat-disk shaped tops of yesteryear, but why not give it a try.
I hustled back to my car and unraveled and retwisted and folded
and molded that hanger into a handy widget and fished it down
into my car. I weedled it around the middle of the lock at the
most subtle indention. I was able to hook and yank it with a
mighty jerk. The locks went up, the alarm went off and I opened
my door and reached down to my back floor mat to grab those
auspicious keys. Roadside was cancelled, I have a new and
improved relationship with my son's swimming instructors and
hopefully I have learned that some distractions are to be taken
very seriously.
Perhaps you have heard the saying that for every child you give
birth to a percentage of your brain. Why has it become so common
that I forget things? What happen to that efficient, organized
and precise thinking that I needed for my job within the
high-profile corporation. If I operated in this manner in that
environment I would have never made it out alive. Has each of my
childred placed a deficiency in my cranial cavity? Aside from
the episode above, there have been more oddities: refrigerator
doors left open, milk in the cupboard and plenty of burnt meals.
As the strangeness began to add up, I found the courage to
consult my friends. They too had their heaping share of stories.
Feeling better that someone shared my pain; I was compelled to
look up more information on the web. I read stories upon stories
of moms in the same predicament. I followed this observation up
with medical research as to why this happens; and, while even
the medical profession could not offer a clear and final
explanation, there were plenty of possible excuses offered.
Hormones, the fact that the brain shrinks during pregnancy
(supposedly to return to normal size thereafter), post partum
depression symptom, sleep deprivation and finally the
distractions and chaos that come with raising children all
surmised the malady quite well. The last two I am going to grasp
and hold on to as my alibi...that's my story and I'm stickin' to
it!
Think of the distractions your mind inherits once you find out
you are pregnant - all those things that could go wrong before
the baby comes, plus you have to eat for you and for the baby.
During childbirth, you may turn down painkillers or epidurals -
for the baby. Zero to six months are dedicated to avoiding
newborn dangers and providing comfort for the baby. Toddlerhood
is your period of safety precautions (aka - 'more and more
dangers') for the baby. Kindergarten yields its own new
discoveries of parental inadequacy and so on. One friend who is
currently tormented by her oldest son's first year of middle
school, says that not only does she worry about her own peaks
and valleys, but now her son's middle school insecurities are
fed directly into her as well. Till you are smiling down from
heaven above, you will be worrying about your children and how
to keep them safe, healthy and happy. Obvious, right? Well, if
it is so obvious why do we as moms, wonder why our ability to
focus, process information and remember things has gone to the
birds? Why are we secretly wondering what is wrong with us and
whether or not we are clinically losing it or just showing the
early signs of senility? Why do moms begin to label themselves
as stupid (a common occurance in the chatroom scripts I read),
less than adequate or incapable of furthering themselves in an
intellectual manner, with intellectual people?
I am encouraging all of you once fiercely sharp women to forgive
this phase of your mental life. The distraction of raising
children is reason enough to miss a couple cues during your
daily routine. Add any type of medical matter to this package
and you are to be given extra allowance of compassion. While we
are so lucky to experience our children's delight and victories
as they grow, so must we endure their pain and sorrow. In doing
so, it can overwhelm, divert and consume our every thought.
While I would love to give you the timetable of recovery, I
cannot. I can only look at the many other moms and grandmothers
who are still thriving and be inspired that no matter how much
'matter' you lose, there is still a chance to live a wonderfully
fruitful life well into your golden years, kids included!