Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting
Situations
What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents
should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful
consequences.
1. Carrying Message Between Parents
A child doesn't like the feeling that he or she must act as a
messenger between hostile parents or carry one adult's secrets
or accusations about another. Children want parents to talk with
each other so that the messages are communicated the right way
and so that children don't feel like they are going to mess up.
Parents must take the responsibility to talk directly with each
other, especially if the topic is likely to anger the other
parent. It is unfair to make your child carry messages to your
"ex" because you find it too awkward or aggravating to do so
yourself. It is also poor parenting to show by example to your
child that you can resolve a problem with another person by not
communicating or to suggest to a child that the other parent is
such a monster that you cannot speak or be civil with each other.
Wherever possible, communicate directly with the other parent
about matters relevant to the children, such as scheduling,
visitation, health habits, or school problems.
2. Getting Involve With Money Issues
Avoid arguing and discussing child support issues in front of
the children. How would you feel if you are that child hearing
mom and dad arguing about your financial support? Most children
upon hearing these things feel that their existence is some kind
of parent's burden.
Who will pay for what and how available money should be spent
are adult issues that the parents must discuss directly. Do not
put your children in the middle of your child support disputes.
3. Hearing Criticisms Of The Other Parent
It hurts a child very much to hear one loved parent criticize
the other loved parent. Children see themselves as half of each
parent. When children hear bad things about one parent, they
hear bad things about half of themselves. If they hear bad
things about both their parents, they feel that both halves of
them must be of little worth.
Even if you are sure you're right, try to avoid criticizing the
other parent around the kids, and try to find good things to
say, or don't say anything at all.
The following is a list of destructive remarks that you should
not make to your child. If you find yourself saying words like
these, stop and think about their impact on your child.