"Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision
About Divorce"
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things
that you should consider. Too often people find themselves
unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when
making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and
frustration. When making a serious divorce decision, having an
open mind and listing the things that will figure into your
decision about divorce, will help make the process a little
simpler for you.
The things to consider when deciding about divorce varies
somewhat from person to person, but here is a list of the most
common items to contemplate:
Divorce Decision Item 1: Making sure that you are emotionally
ready to go through with a decision.
Not being really ready to decide about whether to get a divorce
because of emotional uncertainty will be a serious obstacle if
you let your emotions cloud your ability to reason or use logic.
People often fear making a tough decision and there are many
reasons why people don't ever get around to actually making a
divorce decision, which is often one of the toughest decisions
to make in life. If you aren't ready to handle the emotional
pain of what could be a "life changing" event like deciding
about divorce, wait until you can before going through your
divorce decision making process.
Divorce Decision Item 2: Making sure that the reasons for
divorce that you've listed regarding why you think you want a
divorce are indeed valid.
Too often people make the mistake of wanting to get a divorce
(or thinking they want to get a divorce) for unviable reasons.
This comes from being wrapped up with the idea of being hurt and
focusing on one's self rather than separating the actual events
from the end results.
Yes, it is very tough to elevate your thinking and be seemingly
autonomous to your own situation...in fact, it is often
impossible to do. But, if you can look at your situation with
someone else in your place, and then go through your divorce
decision making process, you'll be closer to the real answer
that you want.
Divorce Decision Item 3: Understanding that your sense of
self-confidence, ability to be 'self sustaining' with finances
or other material things, and desire to 'start over' are all
unwavering.
This mix of considerations about divorce can be overpowering for
some people when they try to 'break away' or make the decision
about getting a divorce. Simply, these 'things to think about'
intertwine and affect each other directly. Self-confidence is
essential to being able to make a lucid divorce decision, and
your level of self-confidence can easily be changed (for better
or worse) instantly. If this is the case, you should really
re-think whether you're ready to make a divorce decision and
follow through with it.
A lot of time, women in divorce situations have to deal with
finance issues and they fear going out on their own because
they've had financial support previously. Still, the fear of
losing finances or material things is not gender specific by any
means...men and women alike need to decide if they are ready to
go through financial loss to improve their lives if they feel a
divorce will do so. Logic will lead you to the fact that
finances shouldn't be the only piece of your divorce decision
even though it usually figures in...as to what level finances
figure into your divorce decision, will depend on you and what
you deem important.
If your overall confidence and desire to start over with your
love life support making a change, you're off to a good start in
making a smart decision about whether to divorce or not.
Divorce Decision Item 4: Determining who else your divorce
decision will affect and how much weight that carries in your
decision making formula about divorce.
This item to consider when thinking about divorce is one of the
primary things that can lead a person to a decision, one way or
another. Even though it can have serious negative repercussions,
selfless people will take into account everyone else who will be
affected by a serious change like getting a divorce...it is
fundamental portion of the overall process of making a smart
divorce decision. Children, in-laws, common friends, etc., all
will be affected by what you do regarding your action as a
result of you truly answering the question, "Should I Get A
Divorce?".
When making your decision about staying married or getting
divorced, you should look to the future and decide whether your
decision will improve or decrease your quality of life and the
quality of life of those that will be affected. The number one
reason given by people who want to get divorced but don't go
through with it, stems from the fear that others will suffer
from the divorce. Be very careful when assessing this
situation...make sure that you use logic and not emotion when
evaluating your thoughts.
Making a divorce decision is a serious and difficult task
because it is complex, deeply self-reflective, and frightening
due to the length of time it can affect you and others. Make
sure that you have your thoughts organized and prioritized and
you take your time in making a decision.