Creating a Family Identity
CREATING A FAMILY IDENTITY Everyone who has a family has stories
to share. Family traditions, quotes and tall tales are valuable
tools that can be used to help create a unique family identity.
It gives us a sense of where we came from, our values, our sense
of humor, our history and sense of belonging to something
comfortable, unique and bigger than ourselves. Our family's
faith and foundation is transferred to us by other, usually
older, family members, and is important to us as we carve out
our place in the big world. The most obvious and sometimes most
difficult way to create a family identity is by taking the time
to talk to our children, really talk to them, at length, about
ourselves, our family growing up, and what their grandparents
and great grandparents were like. Why is this so difficult?
Because now, more than ever we are shuttling our kids from one
activity to another, breathlessly throwing fast food at them and
sending them off to bed with no more than, "Brush your teeth,"
in the way of conversation. We drive here and there listening to
talk radio while our kids are plugged into video games and MP3
players with headphones that further distance them from their
siblings sitting right next to them. In order to enhance your
ability to create a family identity, you don't need to quit
everything and homeschool your children, although that works for
some who are called to that lifestyle. Family traditions are
important to building the family identity and seem to come
naturally with holidays and birthdays. However, so can
implementing things as simple as having no electronic
entertainment on Mondays in order to enjoy more productive time
together. A half hour, bedtime tuck-in with stories, private
talks and prayers will nurture a relationship and deepen the
children's sense of belonging to something bigger and more
important than themselves. Working as a team on a project such
as gardening for Grandma, volunteering together at a community
food bank, or making home made gift wrap can all enhance your
family identity and relationships. Throughout your day you can
say things to your children such as, "I'm so glad we live in a
family that can talk about anything!" or "I love that my
children are each others' best friends!" When correcting your
children, gently point out that, "Our family doesn't call each
other names," or "We don't spit on the playground," or "Our
family likes to be polite, kind, or helpful to others." Camping
as a family is an activity that has stood the test of time when
it comes to knitting families together. What better time to
share family history and stories than around a campfire while
enjoying s'mores and the clean mountain air? There are countless
ways to create your family identity and instill that identity
into your children. Use your creativity to think of things that
will work for your family members' interests and schedules. Make
what you choose an integral part of all of your lives. It will
enrich your children's lives, and create an important foundation
for your family identity. Try a few of these ideas or some of
your own and you may be surprised at the way it sparks a new
depth to the relationships in your family and a deeper
understanding of who you; The Smiths, The Coronados, The
Demchaks...really are and where you fit into this busy,
confusing, big, beautiful world. Visit "stories" at
http://www.familytree4u.com to see more family related articles
and funny stories. Ginny Warren 2/04