Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Suggestions To Make Your
Life Easier
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1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget.
Let go of grudges you may hold against your child's other
parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto
feelings of anger will not change your situation and will
probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need
to devote to creating a positive environment for your child.
If you dwell on your disappointment with and/or dislike of the
father or mother of your child - chances are your child will
sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative
attitude.
2 - Make the most of everything you have. Even if you do not
have a lot of money, you do have your child and your love and
your time to give to him or her. Try to remember that monetary
wealth and material possessions are not the most important items
in your child's life. Your love, support and time together mean
much more to them. You can have fun for free. Activities like -
going for a walk or a bike ride, playing at the park, coloring,
painting, singing, or dancing - will thrill your child just as
much as spending money to go to an amusement park, an arcade or
a toy store.
3 - Be the best parent you can possibly be. Give as much as you
can without setting goals that are unrealistic for one parent to
achieve. Don't beat yourself up for what cannot be. Do recognize
what you can do to create a good life for your child to the best
of your abilities.
4 - Develop a network of reliable resources. Families are not
biological. Surround yourself and your child with friends you
know and trust - people who care about both of you. "Aunts" and
"Uncles" and even "Grandparents," who are not blood-related can
be just as beneficial to your child as actual biological family
members. The "family" you create for your child can provide him
or her with the same kind of love and support as a traditional
family. They can also help you with your responsibilities as a
single parent. Let them play an active role in your child's
life. Learn to turn to your "family" when you need a break.
Nobody should have to go it alone and you will probably be able
to be a better parent by relying on your "family" of close
friends to support you and your child.
5 - Take responsibility for your life today. Remember whatever
lead you to where you are today, you are responsible for another
life - the innocent life of a child, who did not ask to be born.
Your child is not responsible for the experiences or events that
made you become a single parent. Your child is completely
dependent upon you through no choice of their own. Don't let
them down or hold them accountable for your actions (or the
actions of their absent parent). They are powerless and
vulnerable to the possibly less-than-ideal consequences they
face as the child of a single parent. Your role and influence in
their life is paramount to their chances of becoming a happy,
productive, successful adult. They need you more than their
words will ever tell.
6 - Set up daily rituals and regular routines. Your child needs
stability and security. One way to provide this is by developing
a daily routine. Simple things like - going to the park every
Sunday afternoon, eating dinner together each night, sharing a
treat before nap time or reading a book together before bed
every night, will become activities that your child looks
forward to and can count on to occur with regularity.
7 - Be consistent and dependable. Create realistic rules and a
standard of discipline that you stick to all the time. If you're
consistent with your child, he or she will learn what is
acceptable behavior and what is not. They will also learn what
you expect from them and what they can expect from you. If
you're dependable, they will know that they can always count on
you to help them with their homework, be there for dinner or
tuck them in bed at night. They have to be able to depend on
you. You're the most important person in their life. Try to
remember that no matter how tired you are at the end of the day
or how frustrated you may become when they're fussy - They need
you to be there for them. You should cherish every moment with
your child - they are the best blessings on earth.
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