Helping Our Children Feel Good About Themselves and Create
Positive Memories for Later
We have so much influence over the next generation! Lots of
times we forget how much influence, as our children or
grandchildren can appear to ignore us, forget us or even
worse--run from us in one way or another. Sometimes, we must
just accept the fact that lots of times positive actions happen
without positive recognition! Therefore, it behooves us as the
'grownups' in our personal worlds to keep looking for ways to
help the young ones experience good times, feel nurtured and
loved and to walk away from situations just a little more one
the road to developing as a whole person with a good sense of
self. I can assure you that insistence on creating a meaningful
world for our children does eventually pay off!
I'd like to share with you how Lorna did just that with her
daughter Sabrina. Here is some of what she wrote to me:
‘Yesterday afternoon Sabrina, my six year old daughter,
was helping me make Chinese sesame cookies for our church's
girls' club. Sabrina attends weekly club meetings and is always
happy to help me out with the snacks for club. These cookies
needed to be rolled into little balls and then rolled into
sesame seeds. The ‘seeding' of the cookies was Sabrina's
job. We were halfway through the dough. She was rolling away.
Suddenly she said to me without looking up, "This is great! I
get to spend quality time with Daddy and now more time with you!"
She was referring to her Sunday evenings alone with her daddy.
Sunday evenings at 5:30 pm, I leave and take my 9 year-old son
to the boys club at church where I also help with snacks. During
the time we are gone, Sabrina and her daddy have a tea party
almost every Sunday evening. They turn the lights off, light the
candles that I have usually in the center of the table, then
boil water, and set the table. There is usually some kind of
‘tea cookie' (like shortbread) in the pantry. They take
those and then serve each other tea and cookies. Sometimes they
act silly. e.g. Acting very aloof with flowery language or just
simply talking about this and that.
Last Sunday evening I did not have to stay at club until it was
over. I got home just in time for the tea party. Sabrina set me
a spot at the table. She offered me sugar and cookies. We
chatted. She acted a little silly. It was really cute and I was
glad I got to peek in on what she and my husband usually do.
After I had a couple sips, I slipped away to my office to check
email so they could have their usual special time alone.'
Lorna, Sabrina's mom, is describing such a wonderful activity
that lends itself both to building self-esteem and to beautiful
positive memories in the future. I can picture Sabrina sharing
her tea parties with her daddy years later with her own
children!
Exercise: Play Date with a Child in Your Life
Can you think of something special that you could offer a child
in your life? You don't have to be a parent or grandparent. You
may know a child down the street, or a cousin or even a friend's
child. A special outing or treat can go a long way to bringing
delight to a child.
I remember when my aunt Rose arrived at my cousin's home with a
surprise for me! It was a box in the shape of a treasure chest
and it contained some perfume and soaps all designed for a
little girl. I was thrilled and felt very special. I can still
remember lovingly keeping my treasure chest and eventually
filling it with other treasures after I had used all the soaps,
lotions and bubble bath. Yes, this treasure chest did make me
feel special, very feminine and created a great memory trace.
I know you will have fun with a play date. Keep us posted on
what you do.