"Mended Heart"
Many of us at some point in our lives have suffered from what
some people refer to as a 'broken heart.' This of course is not
referring to our physical heart but an emotional condition that
can affect our physical well being as well other aspects of our
lives. Even though we are not referring to a physical break, we
often treat a broken heart the way we would a broken arm. We put
it in a cast, a thick protective coating that nothing can
penetrate. It is immobilized for an appropriate amount of time
so that healing has a chance to occur. It is important not to
disturb it to avoid further trauma.
If you ever have broken your arm, you know what it looks like
when the cast is removed. It looks thinner, sometimes almost
shriveled. It is covered with dead, discolored skin that has a
pretty foul odor. It is weak from lack of use. In some cases,
therapy may be necessary to restore full mobility. And for a
number of years afterward, the location of the break, though
healed, may occasionally ache.
When we have a broken bone, we are rushed to assistance so that
further complications do not result. If left untreated, we might
be left with mild to severe disability that can be more
difficult to correct later. Depending upon the type and severity
of the break, bone fragments may damage surrounding tissue,
cause bleeding, and other types of internal trauma that might
lead to more serious conditions.
At no time are we told to 'just get over it.' We are given pain
medication if necessary and are treated with some kind of
accommodation to help us adapt to our daily lives until the bone
is fully healed. The people in our lives treat us with extra
caring and consideration.
You don't feel it necessary to hide the fact that your arm is
broken. You know how long the cast should remain in place before
removing it. The rate of healing can be checked by radiology to
make sure the cast isn't removed too soon. There is a specific
treatment protocol and you are given instructions to follow. If
the circumstances surrounding what caused the break result in
anxiety, it is acknowledged as real.
Generally, one doesn't die from a broken arm. A broken arm
doesn't feel humiliated, embarrassed, lost, or betrayed. There
are some people, however, who have died from the results of
being broken hearted. Some felt they could not live with the
pain and ended it themselves. Others succumbed to physical
illnesses that developed through complications caused by the
unrelenting stress of grief and an inability or unwillingness to
forgive. Some are walking around with disabilities of varying
degrees as a result of the same factors. These conditions are
not always obvious and sometimes deliberately hidden.
A broken heart can be mended if it is acknowledged as a real
injury and not brushed off as something that will take care of
itself in time if left alone. Those of us who have mended hearts
have often had to develop our own treatment protocols, some more
effective than others. And afterward, like a broken bone that
has healed, there is always some residual evidence of the
trauma. Even if what was broken ends up being stronger than it
was before.
Anyone who has suffered from a 'broken heart' will tell you that
they would rather have a broken arm. It hurts less, heals faster
and you get more help with it.
Have a Great Day and be good to yourself. You deserve it!
Gail
RESOURCES: If you or someone you know needs to access the
healing power of forgiveness or help in healing from grief, here
are some excellent resources.
Forgiveness Workshops - "Connecting With The Healing Light of
Forgiveness" Donna Kopitsy, MA, MSW, LUT
http://www.unitycommunitymall.com/workshops Contact Donna today
to arrange a workshop for your group!
Crisis, Grief, and Healing - Tom Golden, LCSW www.webhealing.com
A website packed with information, links and more!
Tom Golden's wonderful book "Swallowed By A Snake: The Gift of
the Masculine Side of Healing" can be ordered through the
Innovations website click on Books and Posters
www.innovations-training.com
Online Audio Workshops featuring: Sam Keen - "Living With Death"
Rabbi Kushner - "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" Tom
Attig - "Relearning The World" Tom Golden - "Men and Grief"
www.griefceu.com Sit back and listen through your computer to
some of the world's best presenters on the topic of healing from
loss.