Keeping Your Cool: Managing Your Reactions to Stress
The television is blaring...the phone is ringing...and someone
has just arrived at the door. You are under stress--big-time. As
a result, you may feel a loss of control. If it's a particularly
bad day, you might even feel as if there is no way out. You feel
overwhelmed and ill-equipped to deal with the stress you're
under.
What you may not realize is that it is entirely within your
power to manage stress in a healthier way. You may not have
control over what happens in your life--but you can control your
reaction to various stressors. All it takes is a little advanced
planning on your part.
Of course, a knee-jerk reaction to stress is to try to remove
the stress entirely from your life. But this is not always
possible and, in some cases, it may not be the best approach.
Instead, you might consider limiting your contact with a certain
stressor. In other words, if you're really feeling overwhelmed,
can you take a break from the action? Just a few minutes outside
can help clear your head, enabling you to better handle stress
in the long run. Another effective strategy is to consider
delayed gratification. For instance, say you enjoy a frappuccino
in the morning, but you hate the commute to get to the coffee
shop. Perhaps you can make the frappuccino a one-day-a-week
treat instead of an everyday affair.
Another habit that can make stress more difficult than it needs
to be is all-or-nothing thinking. For instance, if you're having
trouble studying for a test, do you assume that you are going to
fail? If you have a disagreement with your spouse, do you think
that he or she will eventually leave you? If your mother is ill,
do you begin worrying that she will die soon? Such
disaster-oriented thinking can make a difficult situation even
more trying, even more stressful. By adopting a more realistic
approach to problems, you can limit your emotional reaction to
stress.
Perfectionism may also be at the root of your stress. If you
think that you have to be perfect in the office and at home, you
can never really relax. In other words, you are putting yourself
under unnecessary stress. If you begin to focus on performing
tasks well rather than perfectly, you can establish more
realistic expectations for your life. This new-and-improved
thinking can enable you to face challenges with more confidence.
Another mode of thinking that can lead to greater stress is a
winner-take-all philosophy. If you feel as if you always have to
win, you set yourself up for cut-throat competition. This can be
extremely destructive, especially to your interpersonal
relationships. It is much better to adopt an "everybody wins"
philosophy. According to this viewpoint, the critical thing is
to perform those tasks that will do the most good. Following
this philosophy, you are far more likely to be able to take
stress in stride.
Losing your temper can also cause you unnecessary stress. If
you are feeling as if you are about to explode, think of
something calming, such as an ocean or a tree. Don't give into
the temptation to self-destruct. Getting angry will not solve
your problem and could, in fact, create additional problems. If
you feel as if your blood is about to boil, stay cool, take a
step back, and re-assess your options. With a clear head, you
may be able to find the solution to your problem relatively
quickly. Your stress level should also drop.
It should be said that it is not easy to control your reactions
to stress. It takes a great deal of time, patience, and
emotional effort. If you tend to react quickly to stress, you
might have to teach yourself to slow your reactions. You will
have to learn to make controlling your reactions to stress a
habit. It is well worth the work involved. Otherwise, you could
find yourself battling a stress-related illness. When all else
fails, remember this slogan: Take a breath and take a break.
While you might lose some time in the short run, you could
benefit a great deal over the long haul. And your friends and
family might notice a distinct change in your emotional reaction
to stress.