Children and Pessimism
by Carol Tuttle
Carol Tuttle is a Master Energy Therapist and the author of the
best-selling book, Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook
for Thriving in the 21st Century.
Children need emotional validation.If their negative feelings
about what is happening in their lives are not validated, they
may continue focusing on the negative until they are validated.
Children can become pessimistic if they do not feel they are
being emotionally heard and validated.
As the parent of four children, I have learned to not skip the
important step of emotionally acknowledging my children.
Before I realized how important this was, I was eager to try to
quickly change their negative feelings and views of their life
into positives.
Once you have validated your child's negative feelings, you can
give your child a choice: to continue to perceive his/her
situation as negative, or to choose to change it to positive.
The first choice teaches our children to be victims in a world
of random events they are powerless to control.The second choice
teaches them they have the power to change anything for the
better.
Recently my daughter came to me expressing her negative feelings
about a friend's treatment of her. I could have quickly
dismissed her feelings and encouraged her to not let it bother
her, or joined her by saying, "That is terrible! She is so mean."
I did neither.Instead the conversation went something like this:
Mom: "That is unfortunate, Anne.You must feel really sad
about the way she treated you."
Anne: "I do.I don't like it when she treats me that way."
Mom: "I understand.Nobody likes to be treated that
way.You deserve to have your friends love and respect you.When
you are ready to clear these negative feelings, and would like
my help, let me know. Or, you can continue feeling bad. But
remember, whatever you focus on in life will cause more of it
show up as your experience."
Anne: "I want to clear these bad feelings right now and
create a positive friendship with her."
At this point, I took Anne through a process called "Emotional
Freedom Technique," which is designed to clear negative feelings
and stressful energies that keep us from progressing.
I have taught my children that the law of attraction, or the law
of the harvest (which is that whatever we put out returns to us
multiplied) is in constant operation in their lives. If they put
out negative thoughts and feelings, they will have more negative
experiences show up in their lives. If they put out positive
thoughts and feelings, they will have more positive experiences
show up in their lives.
Anne understands this universal principle, and was eager to
clear the negative thoughts and feelings and change them into
positives.It was important that her negative feelings were
acknowledged and validated first.
Most adults in our world were not emotionally validated.They
were emotionally shut down or ignored.As parents we can do a
much better job of validating our children's emotional response
to their life events -- free of any judgment.Once validated,
those negative thoughts and feelings can be easily released and
positive thoughts and feelings can be created.
After Anne cleared her negatives, she decided what she wanted to
create was a fun-loving, kinder relationship with her friend.
She helped put this into motion in her life by speaking what she
wanted in positive "I am" statements such as this:- I
am experiencing all my friends respecting me and being kind to
me.
- I am respectful and kind to all my
friends.
- We have fun together and support each
other.
- Things always work out the best for
me.
- I am grateful for the love and support of my good
friends.
After Anne's energy-clearing session, she called her friend and
easily made amends.Her friend was apologetic, they laughed and
started planning their next activity.What Anne had asked for in
her affirmations had already begun to show up for her.
Children model their parents' language and perceptions of the
world.If Mom and Dad are pessimistic, the children often are,
too. If Mom and Dad are optimists who are willing to validate
their child's negative emotional responses to a situation, then
help them change that, they play a powerful role in teaching
their children they can have lives that are positive, and that
they can look forward to many successes.
Learn powerful parenting techniques on Carol's best-selling
two-hour parenting seminar on DVD, Intentional Parenting:
Raising Conscious Children that Understand and Use the Laws of
Creation. Just click on the title to review this product and
all of Carol's life-changing books, CDs and DVDs that are highly
recommended by Dr. Mercola.
Dr. Mercola's Comment:Earlier this year I had an opportunity to
attend a three-day Internetseminar with Carol and had a chance
to get to know her. Although I enjoyed the seminar, the
highlight was the opportunity to get to know Carol.
Without a doubt, energy psychology is one of the greatest tools
I have ever encountered in the healing modalities, and EFT is an
amazing application of this discipline. Carol happens to be one
of the most gifted EFT clinicians I know of.
If you want to apply some of the principles Carol discusses
in the above article and learn powerful healing techniques to
release the emotional issues that are keeping you from living a
more fulfilling life, you willwantto pick up Carol's
best-selling two-hour parenting seminar on DVD, Intentional
Parenting: Raising Conscious Children that Understand and Use
the Laws of Creation.You can also reviewCarol's other
life-changing books, CDs and DVDs thatI highly recommended.
Carol stopped seeing clients a while ago so she can concentrate
on sharing her message over the Internet.However, there was such
a demand for her services that shedecided to limit her patient
load andincrease her fees to $10,000 for a series
ofcomprehensive individual consultations-- even at thoserates
she has more clients than she can handle.
InOctober Iinvited Carol to spend some time at my center to
teach my staff some of her principles. We had a great time and
decided that we will offer a joint seminar in Chicago on April
6, 7 and 8. I want to tell you that now as by then it will have
been nearly two years since I have held a major event. The last
one was also in Chicago in June 2004.
It was an EFT event with Gary Craig and we sold out the 550
seats in a few days and had a waiting list of over 500 people
who could not attend.
Well, this event should be far better than the one last year as
we have some incredible programs that will absolutely amaze you
at the benefits you will receive.
Can't tell you much more about it now, but I do want to forewarn
you to mark you calendars now for next April 6-8 and plan on
being in Chicago for an event you will remember the rest of your
life.