Could you be sued by Santa this Christmas?
Santa is likely to say many things if he gets stuck in your
chimney this year, but "Ho Ho Ho" probably won't be one of them.
And you won't be inclined to chuckle either if he subsequently
makes a personal injury claim against you.
And have you checked the state of your roof recently? Don't
forget that a rather, shall we say, roundly proportioned
gentlemen with 12 hulking reindeers is planning on landing on
it. A few loose tiles and a resounding tumble could have you
explaining yourself to a judge.
In fact, once you start thinking about it, it's amazing that
anyone of us is ever prepared to let the wretched man in - the
many and varied ways in which he could come to harm in your home
should be enough to have you boarding up the fireplace and
leaving a "Santa - don't stop here" sign on your lawn.
And just imagine the headlines and the national shame if beloved
Father Christmas leaves your home limping (or worse, on a
stretcher), unable to continue his round to all the hopeful
little children in the world. The tears and sobs over empty
stockings will be all your fault.
You may think you're being kind by leaving him a mince pie and
sherry by the fire - but what if you're quite low down on his
list and he doesn't reach your home much before dawn? How long
will those festive "treats" have been sitting there? Long enough
for botulism and salmonella to start a colony, quite possibly.
He may well be magical, awesome and wonderful. But, is it likely
that he's also immune to every-day problems like back ache? If
you didn't edit your children's letter to make sure that the
extremely heavy computer, rally bike or 12ft Dr Who Dalek were
crossed off - then shame on you. Future depictions of this very
noble man will also have to include a walking stick or zimmer
frame thanks to you.
While we don't wish to alarm you unduly, have you spared a
thought for all those little elves who have worked so hard to
make your Christmas as enchanting for your children as you hope
it will be? Or did you think that EU directives on working hours
and conditions did not apply to them? Well, they do.
It's a very good thing that Santa and his little helpers have
the sympathetic and wise services of The Claim Solicitors
(leading online personal injury solicitor:
www.the-claim-solicitors.co.uk) to call on if necessary. "People
can be very insensitive to the needs of Santa, the reindeers and
his elves," says Jeremy Newson, "and the potential for any of
them coming to harm are enormous. In fact, a few years ago he
contacted us to enquire about his civil litigation rights after
Rudolph (his favourite reindeer) got his nose caught between
some ragged chimney bricks causing lasting and permanent damage
- the sore-looking redness can still be seen today."
"In fact, it is a testament to the good-nature of the man that
he decided not to pursue the compensation claim, and made up a
fictitious account of how Rudolph came by his red and shiny
nose."
"So we would ask all householders to pause briefly in their
festive celebrations to spend a moment or two in quiet
reflection on their duty of care to Santa and his crew. After
all, if you've been a good boy or girl this year, then he will
have spent time thinking about you!"