THE CONVERSATION OF RECOVERY-Part Three
As alluded to above, there will be a tendency to want to leave
the Conversation especially when one has first gotten or been
introduced to the technology of transformation and
Transformational Counseling. The initial experience of power,
freedom and full self expression is very enrolling and with this
feeling of being touched, moved and inspired by our
possibilities one may create a belief that no future work is
really necessary. However, the technology of transformation is
not something that you simply get but something that is
constantly gotten. When not in communication with others inside
the Conversation of transformation there will be a tendency to
stop doing the work and go back to what is familiar and
especially to the familiar ways that we attempted to resolve
breakdowns. It is the familiar that is within the world of the
self-limiting belief. As mentioned above, the self-limiting does
not go away, it is there throughout our life. While the
self-limiting belief will reappear in our life through a
breakdown, staying in the Conversation with another will assist
us in distinguishing the inauthenticity that we create and once
again empower us to get back into or create new possibilities
for ourselves. Continuing the work of transformation by staying
in the Conversation with others is not familiar and in many
respects unreasonable. However, staying in the Conversation is
crucial to our continued transformation as a human being living
in the world and to the recovery process too.
I am currently the Director of Outpatient Services at the
Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach,
Florida. In working with people entering recovery in both the
inpatient and outpatient programs it has been my experience that
one of the first behaviors that will appear for the individual
entering a relapse mode is when he takes himself out of the
Conversation. This process of taking oneself out of the
Conversation applies to whether one is attending
transformational oriented group sessions or attending daily AA
or NA meetings for those the 12 Step Program in recovery. When
the person stops seeking and having human contact with people
assisting him in his recovery, when one drops out of
communication with other human beings who are helping him to
transform his life, there will be a tendency to go back to that
which is familiar for dealing with breakdowns. For those in
recovery one of the familiar ways of attempting to fix a
breakdown is to self-medicate with either alcohol or drugs or
both. When the individual cuts himself off from the very process
of his transformation and recovery, cuts himself off from
communicating with another human being about what he is
experiencing, the relapse process has begun for that person. The
individual is once again unable to get how he is creating the
breakdown and how to transform it.
Staying present to the existence of his self-limiting belief,
generating his possibilities through his Daily Plan and
processing breakdowns with others through enrollment does create
the space for the individual to transform his life, be enrolled
into the 12 Step Program and be successful in recovery. Much of
why this technology is not utilized in the recovery field or
even in the mental health arena is that most counselors are not
even aware of its existence. For example, most counselors are
not aware or present to the concept of a self-limiting belief
let alone how it will, if not distinguished, continue to create
a barrier or constraint for another. Most counselors are not
even aware of the actual power of our thinking, of how we
actually create our experiences, thoughts, feeling and behavior.
Unfortunately, this lack of awareness as to how we create the
occurring world leaves most counselors being able to only focus
on that which is external to the client, that is, situations,
circumstances and other people and their behavior. When we focus
on that which is external to the client and engage in a
discussion about situation, circumstance or another we run the
risk of not generating the space for the client to get how he
actually created or is continuing to create his experiences.
When we are unable to assist a client in discovering how he
actually created his situation, circumstance or relationship to
another through his thinking and thoughts we run the risk of
having the client assume little if any responsibility for his
life, reinforcing or supporting a state of total disempowerment
and leaving the probable almost certain future for the client.
Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC http://www.enhancedhealing.com