I lost my brother twice
My brother, Bobby, was the oldest of eight children born in our
family. He was protective of his sisters--always hugging us and
watching out for us. He loved his family until one day we were
taken away. He turned to drugs and alcohol to escape the hurt
and pain.
Bobby was so proud of himself when he graduated from grade
school--dressed in his suit--he looked handsome. Bobby was a
good student and loved to write. He wanted to one day become a
writer. He had dreams of being some body. That all changed the
day our mother walked out on us. Bobby stayed with Dad but the
rest of us went into foster care. Bobby stayed in school and
graduated and then went into the Navy. He came to see me in my
foster home dressed in his navy whites. He looked good. Having
some medical problem, he was discharged early. Bobby went back
to live with Dad again. Bobby found it difficult to deal with
the separation of his family--he turned to drugs and alcohol.
The painkilling effect of drugs and alcohol became a solution to
the discomfort.
I went to visit Bobby a couple of times in my adult years. He
lived in a shack that he had built for himself in the woods. He
was either drinking or had been drinking when I would see him.
He worked at the local fish factory or some other seasonal job,
enough to just get by. He had no ambition to do anything
anymore. While visiting him one time, a bird landed on his only
window sill. The bird sat there and looked in not seeming to be
afraid. Bobby talked to the bird and the bird seemed to be
listening. He told me that he talked to the birds as they often
visited him. Bobby said he had lots of friends in the woods. On
another occasion that I visited him, he told me that at night he
would see a pair of red eyes out by the edge of the woods
looking at him. He said he did not believe it was a wolf though.
He said it came closer each night. He talked to it and they
became friends.
Bobby became friends with all those living things in the woods.
I believe he knew that they would not turn on him or abandon
him. Bobby lost his will after the family separation and dug
himself deep in a hole and didn't want to come back out. He had
chosen drugs and alcohol as a solution to the unwanted problems.
Many years later, I got a call from a sister--she was on the way
to the hospital to see Bobby. He was very sick and the doctor
said he didn't think he would live much longer. Bobby never went
to the doctor very much, instead the use of drugs and alcohol
helped kill the pain that he was feeling. My brother passed away
that evening. He was only 53 years old. The family made the
decision to have his body cremated. There was a ceremony for him
but the ashes were saved until all the family could be there.
A year later, the family took Bobby's ashes out beside a small
Island in the ocean to lay him to rest. I lost my brother twice,
once to drugs and alcohol and the second time when he died.
Bobby was misunderstood by many people. He had a good heart and
soul. He could not deal with the discomfort and unhappiness of
loosing his family and every day life.
The cycle of drugs and alcohol addition begins with a problem,
discomfort or some form of emotional or physical pain. Everyone
has experienced this in life to a greater or lesser degree.
There are other solutions to deal with problems without using
alcohol or drugs--this only creates a new problem. Talk to
friends, family, and if necessary, get professional help.
Digging a hole with drugs and alcohol like my brother did, is
not the answer.
The National Alcohol and Substance Abuse Information Call Center
1-800-784-6776
Center for Substance Abuse Treatment National Drug and Alcohol
Treatment Referral Services. 1-800-662-HELP
Living Night mares of Abuse by Phyllis Benton, when released it
will be available at PublishAmerica,
http://www.publishamerica.com/books/ at a special pre-release
discount price. Also available at any on line books, such as
Amazon.com, B&N.com, using my ISBN number 1-4137-9156-5. For
more information about my book or about the author, please visit
my websites at http://www.pdbenton.org/ or
http://www.freewebs.com/dianesfantasy/
Alcohol abuse, drug addition, emotional and physical dependency,
death, hot lines