Stress Management: 10 Tips for Working Mothers
In my practice as a hypnotherapist, I have many clients who come
to me for stress management. Many of those clients are working
mothers who fret about the demands on their time: children,
husband or partner, paid work and unpaid household chores all
pull these women in different directions. The day-to-day,
constant small stressors leave them inadequate physical and
emotional resources to deal with life's BIG stressors, such as
personal and family health issues, financial worries, etc.
Frequently, these women lose any sense that they are entitled to
some "me" time, and therein lies part of the solution to stress
relief.
Typically, one of the things that I teach these clients is
self-hypnosis. There are quite a few self-hypnosis techniques
that anyone can learn in order to manage stress. But I also give
my clients many practical tips to give themselves some stress
relief.
Here are 10 tips for stress management that I frequently
recommend:
1. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Our bodies do so
much restorative work while we sleep, and it's harder to deal
with emotional and physical stress when we don't have enough
sleep. Additionally, nights of uninterrupted sleep are better
than nights of interrupted sleep. So if you have very young
children who wake you up each night (for feedings, diaper
changes, etc.), try to share those duties with your husband or
partner so that you get some nights of uninterrupted sleep. And
don't feel guilty about napping when you get the chance! The
energetic demands on your body as a woman juggling numerous
roles are enormous. The more you can cater to those energetic
needs, the more resources you will have for dealing with life's
annoyances and real stressors.
2. Prioritize and organize errands to minimize the running
around time you have to do. You may need to plan a "route" that
takes you to the post office, the dry cleaners, etc. once a
week. And don't fret if you forget to bring something with you -
99% of the time, it can wait until your next trip. Also,
minimize the number of times you go to the supermarket by
stocking up during fewer trips.
3. Take 10 to 15 minutes each day to just sit by yourself and
let your mind float. Turn the phones off, if possible. You can
also listen to a relaxation CD or a CD of your favorite music.
Don't stress if you can't achieve the "quiet mind" Buddhist
monks can achieve. Just giving yourself some "down time" each
day is a very important stress management strategy. Treat this
down time like you would treat brushing your teeth - as
something you wouldn't dream of skipping! You don't have to
necessarily do it at the same time each day, as long as you do
it. Don't feel guilty about giving yourself this time. Not only
do you deserve it, it will keep you emotionally and physically
healthier and better able to give yourself some stress relief.
4. In the back of your mind, keep some sort of mental scale for
judging how stressful something is. I typically tell clients to
think of some minor annoyance, and then think of the worst thing
imaginable (or at least something truly BIG and stressful), and
put each thing on opposite ends of the scale. Then when you feel
stressed, ask yourself which end of the scale the stressor is
closer to. Most things fall much closer to the minor annoyance
end of the scale, and this helps keep things in perspective.
Perspective is a crucial tool for stress management.
5. Keep in mind a sense of your physical and emotional energetic
resources as a discrete quantity. No one is a superhuman;
everyone has limits. When you feel stressed about something, or
have the urge to react to something, ask yourself, "Is this
worth spending my life's energy on?". Very often, the answer is
"No," and you can move on without wasting your time and energy
on something that doesn't amount to much.
6. Learn the art of limited procrastination. For example, if a
letter from your insurance company arrives in the mail, and it
tells you your car insurance premium is going up 300% in 60
days, put the letter aside. Very often, these sorts of things
resolve themselves or become moot. You might get a letter in 3
days that says, "Whoops! We made a mistake!" and you would have
gotten stressed over nothing. Obviously, you don't want to
procrastinate about everything, because that can lead to more
stress. But when something seems to demand your immediate
attention, let it "age" for a couple of days. Or hand it to your
husband, partner or other trusted person to take care of it.
Stress management is made easier when we are willing to let
others help us. There's no need to be Super Woman!
7. Plan nights out with your husband or partner or friend, so
you two can have adult time together. Do this once a week or
once every two weeks - whatever works for you. Then you have
something special to look forward to, which makes it easier to
deal with minor stresses and the endless demands on your time.
8. Give your current work schedule some thought. You may
ultimately decide that you want to keep or that you must keep
your work schedule the same, but at least you will have given it
some thought with regard to what's healthiest for you to do at
this time in your life. Sometimes we get caught up in the
routine of everyday life, and we don't always take the time to
consider whether this routine is the optimal one for us. When we
engage in stress management strategies, we need to consider all
aspects of our lives, including those that seem more or less set
in stone, such as our work situation.
9. Humor is a wonderful tool for stress management. Get some
funny DVDs (movies, animated TV shows, etc.) that you, alone or
with someone else, can watch in small chunks of time.
10. Exercise is also great for stress relief. It's a good way to
blow off steam and get endorphins (feel-good hormones) flowing.
If your life is so frantic that you hardly have time to think,
no less exercise, just keep it in mind or start in small ways
right now. Some of my clients build a library of exercise DVDs,
which are great, because most of the DVDs have small segments
(15 to 20 minutes) that can be done without taking a big chunk
out of your day. Some of my other clients take a yoga class or a
pilates class once a week, and it gives them something to look
forward to. Exercise should be something you do as part of your
overall "taking care of me" strategy.
If you implement some or all of these stress management tips,
you will find that your day-to-day stress level can be
significantly reduced. That will leave you with the maximum
resources for dealing with life's "big stressors."