Helping somebody with depression!
If you want to help somebody suffering from depression or whom
you suspect is depressed, following are the three simple things
you can do.
1. Understand the perspective and the situation of the
person.
2. Help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis.
3. Get appropriate treatment for him or her.
Understanding the situation in regard to the possibly
depressed person
Remember that depression is a complex "illness", and not
something just in the mind. So, never ridicule the concerned
person of faking an illness or lethargy. Do not expect or tell
the person to just "snap out of it." Most people will get a
great deal of sympathy and attention if they have broken an arm
or a leg, because the problem is so obvious and visible. The
pain and suffering of anxiety and depression are no less real
because we cannot see them, in fact they can be greater because
we can forget they are there.
Tell the person that you understand and with appropriate
diagnosis and treatment, he or she will get better for sure.
Also tell the person not to think of himself or herself as
inferior to anybody. Keep reassuring the person that he or she
will be cured. Exude hope, confidence and optimism and promote
treatment.
Offer emotional support to the depressed person. This involves
understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage
the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully. Do
not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and
offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to
the depressed person's therapist or the doctor immediately.
Invite the depressed person for walks, outings, to the movies,
and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is
refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once
gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, religious or cultural
activities, but do not push the depressed person to undertake
too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and
company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.
Understand that you may find the experience physically and
emotionally draining, trying, distressing, maddening and
downright exhausting at times. This is obviously more intense
for those who live in close proximity with the person who is
ill, rather than those who have frequent but less day-to-day
contact. On the other hand, the sense of delight, sheer relief
and pleasure that comes from watching the definite signs of
recovery take place can more than compensate for the negative
experiences of supporting someone who is severely depressed.
A lot of characteristics of a depressed person's behavior are
such which repel people from them. In fact, although being alone
is something that is not consciously desired by the depressed
person, the sad reality is that he or she may end up acting in
such a way that friends and relatives keep their emotional and
physical distance from him or her. Once you understand this
basic dilemma, it may make it possible for us to see that a
depressed person may be crying out for company and attention,
even when they are behaving in what is an apparently anti-social
way. In such a situation, it can be helpful not to have a
knee-jerk reaction to the alienating behavior, but to try to
stand back for a moment and try to communicate at a deeper level
with the person who is depressed by showing as much warmth and
understanding as you can. It is common for those who are
depressed to feel deeply unlovable and unloved: if you can
respond in a genuinely compassionate and non-judgmental way it
provides the depressed person with an opportunity to respond in
a positive way.
Any suggestion that the depressed person is contemplating
suicide requires professional support and input. Under no
circumstances should this responsibility be shouldered alone by
whoever is supporting a severely depressed and/or anxious person.
Diagnosis of the exact situation and problem
If you feel that a close friend or relative may be suffering
from undiagnosed depression, make sure that he or she sees a
doctor in order to ask for help. This can be a particular
problem for men, who may feel instinctively uncomfortable about
asking for help and advice if they feel depressed, since they
may feel that this is partly an admission of weakness. This male
fear of vulnerability is thought to be part of the reason why
far more women than men are diagnosed as suffering from
depression, since women on the whole are thought to be more
comfortable with acknowledging problems of a non-physical
nature. Since there are so many avenues of support open to
anyone suffering from depression, it is very sad if these
positive opportunities for treatment are missed due to avoiding
asking for appropriate help when necessary. If someone is in too
passive a state to go out and see their doctor, arrange for the
doctor to come and see them. This may be especially appropriate
if the person who is depressed is elderly or suffering from
limited mobility.
If the person who is depressed is living alone, keep in touch
regularly by a combination of visits and telephone calls.
Preparing the occasional meal or giving help with household
chores can be a lifesaver to someone who is going through an
especially down phase, since at times like these it can take
what seems a superhuman effort to accomplish even the most basic
of tasks.
Make sure, as far as possible, that the depressed person takes
frequent exercise. This need be nothing more ambitious than
taking a regular walk each day, or having a swim at a nearby
pool. Since it is natural for someone who is depressed to become
very introspective and disinclined to take the initiative to go
out, even when it may be very necessary, suggest going out for a
coffee, a brief shopping trip, or for a drive into the country
for a change of scene.
Try to counter negative statements with appropriate positive
perspectives. Although this may not always be appreciated or
appropriate, in certain situations it can be extremely important
to balance an unrealistically bleak perspective with a more
rational one. If someone who is depressed comes out with a
comment that his or her life is worthless and nobody likes him
or her, remind him or her of all of the people who care for him
or her, including yourself.
Getting appropriate treatment for the depressed and sticking
to it
This involves getting treatment for the depressed person from a
qualified healthcare professional. Encourage the individual to
stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate. This may take
several weeks. If no improvement occurs for a substantial
period, seek a different treatment. You may be required to make
an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the
doctor. Also monitor whether the depressed person is taking
medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey
the doctor's advice about the use of alcoholic products while on
medication.
Complete information on all aspects of depression can be had at
http://www.health-bible.com/mental_health/depression.php