How To Make Your Business Fail In Ten Days Or Less
How To Make Your Business Fail In Ten Days
1. Do get a web page at a cheap hosting site. Preferrably a
free place that will put there banners and ads all over
diminishing anything you are trying to sell.
2. Do put up your own banners everywhere making it hard to
navigate and hard for anyone to not get a headache just looking
at the main page. After all we don't want them coming back.
3. Do make make sure that when a visitor clicks on a link and
goes to another page, they have no way of getting back to the
main of your site. We want them so hopelessly lost they have no
choice but to go elsewhere. We don't want to have repeat
customers do we?
4. Make the background and text virtually the same color so that
prospective visitors have to squint themselves into oblivion
just to make out a letter.
5. Also be sure to make the text so small they will have wonder
if there actually looking at specks of dirt instead of words.
6. Don't ever get a mailing list. We don't want those nosy
people to be able to find you or your website again do we?
7. Do get a GIGANTIC, colorful logo or text. Make sure it spins,
spits fire, dazzles, and confuses your audience. That way they
will be so hypnotized they'll forget there own name AND your
website address. And speaking of web address...
8. Don't get a short, easily remembered address. Get an address
so long it will be three sentences long when put in ms word and
be rejected by most search engines.
9. Under no circumstances do you submit your site to any search
engines. By submitting your website you are making it to easy
for people to find your business. We want them to work for it.
Why should you do all the hard stuff and they just stroll in?
Give them a challenge. People like that.
10. Do not ever put your website address in your email
signature, on tshirts, pens/pencils, coffee mugs or other good
advertising products. If you do that then word of mouth might
start and you will have all this traffic coming onto your
webpage and we are trying to avoid that aren't we?
11. Most of all, and this is the most important, Do not tell
ANYONE about your business website. It's a secret, so treat it
as one. Don't put it in your forum signature, in your blog, in
articles, or advertisements offline. That means no search
engines, adsense, adwords, or overture. This is your secret so
keep it close to your vest.Follow all these rules and in less
than 10 days you can sit and reap the sweet victory of having a
failed business, no income and no customers.
Good Luck.
Marsha James http://allabouttraffic.blogspot.com/
http://affiliatedreamz.blogspot.com/
http://homeincometalk.seo-blog.org/