It's Not My Fault....Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway?
It amazes me, how often during a week, I hear "It's not my
fault, it's not my responsibility".
It seems that in today's society no one wants to take
responsibility for anything. Parents don't or won't take the
responsibility of how their children turn out. It's the
daycare's fault, the school's fault, the college's fault, the
cop's fault, ... you get the picture. As far as children go
today, newsflash parents, "It is your fault." They are your
children, not the daycare's or the schools. It is your
responsibility to be sure that they get to school, that they
learn in school, and what they do after school. That means
paying attention to what your children are doing. Taking an
interest in the homework they have, and if they don't have any,
giving them some. Monitoring what kind of music they listen to,
what they watch on television, what kind of movies they watch,
and the video games they play. Teaching them the difference
between reality and imaginary ideas, people and things.
Television and video games are not baby-sitters, and neither is
the school system. Your children are your responsibility, and in
all honesty if you don't have the time to spend with your
children, then don't have them. I fully realize that both
parents have to work today because of the cost of things.
However, there are parents raising children who are aware of
what their children are doing, spend time with them, and instill
in them ethics, morals and values so that their children can
become productive adults. Unfortunately, these parents appear to
be few and far between.
Teachers, your job is to teach our children. The crying about
class size doesn't cut it. When I attended school we had a
minimum of 30 students in most classes, and teachers taught and
we all passed our Regents exams before graduating high school.
Unfortunately, while I was in college I could see the writing on
the wall already regarding our education system. Those who were
going into teaching only had to pass/fail classes such as
psychology, sociology, and learning theory classes; and they
couldn't even do that. Our education system has gone downhill
since the mid 70's. Yes, there are still some good teachers out
there, those in their 40's and up. However, we have teachers
today that can't read and write, so how can we expect them to
teach our children to do so. Some of the teachers today are
afraid of being tested on a yearly basis, and many of them
should be, because they would not pass. The standards for
testing today are a joke. I would love to give a Regents Exam
test from a high school in the 50's, 60's, and even early 70's.
Both the students and the teachers today wouldn't pass.
I know I am making a lot of people angry, and you should be. The
fault lies with our educational system. It has disintegrated
over the years. Too many other factors have come into play in
our school system. This is something that should not have
happened. In order to get good teachers, children and parents
have to respect them, and unfortunately today that is not the
case. When I was attending school, we respected our teachers and
our principals. Suspension was a punishment and an
embarrassment, both to ourselves and our parents. Teachers were
allowed to reprimand students. They didn't have to worry about
student rights, students self esteem, etc. When we start
respecting our teachers again, let them teach and not worry
about being politically correct, and pay them a salary they can
live on we will get the better educated to teach our children.
In addition, parents look at teachers as their baby-sitters, and
expect them not only to educate their child but to help raise
them. Parents you have a responsibility to your child and to the
teacher. You have to respect the teacher and support them, not
fight them.
So many of the problems today both with parenting and teaching
is the way society and government put handcuffs on both. Parents
can't even hit their children today without the threat of being
a child abuser and being carted off the jail, court or worse.
Discipline is not abuse, and I believe that discipline is sorely
needed. I am not advocating child abuse, however, you cannot
reason with a 2 year old sticking their finger in a wall socket.
A firm no, with a slight slap of the hand works wonders. I am
amazed at what children get away with today. However, they get
away with these things, because parents let them. Over the years
we've let government, vocal parental groups, legislators and the
legal system dictate how we raise our children. Why? Because
then we can use the mantra, "It's not my fault, it's not my
responsibility".
People today are to quick to abdicate responsibility to everyone
but themselves. One of the biggest problems are all the
frivolous lawsuits out there. Children taking their parents to
court. Parents suing companies because of hot coffee, a hot
pickle. These cases get too much attention and unbelievably
juries that give out awards.
The media perpetuates many of the problems today. By focusing so
much attention on the people that do harm to others, more
individuals out there figure if they want attention they need to
do the same. This becomes a vicious cycle, and teaches our
children the wrong way to accomplish things.
So, how do we fix it. We all take responsibility for our
actions. We don't abdicate our responsibility. We admit we are
human, we make mistakes, and move forward from there. Try and I
mean really try not to make the same mistakes over and over. But
most important of all, take the responsibility for your own
screw ups and don't put the blame on anyone else.
Copyright DeFiore Enterprises 2001