Glowing Green Pigs
Scientists have discovered that by injecting fetal pig embryos
with phosphorescent dyes the adult pigs will have green skin and
glow in the dark. All I can about this is: Well, it's about
time! I can't count the number of times I needed to find my pig
in the middle of the night and I had to struggle to find my
glasses and turn on a light. This will sure be a huge time saver
for me, I can tell you, now that I can get a pig that will shine
as bright as day.
My question for the scientists is whether they bothered to
consult the Lord God Almighty before they did this. Forgive me
if I'm wrong, but doesn't Old Jehovah still own the patent for
creating new life? I don't know, maybe it expired. It's a good
thing that they were able to do this before they did another
wasteful project like curing cancer. Cancer's been around
forever, but this is the first time we've ever had glow in the
dark pork and I would rather have that over cancer any darn day.
There is a real purpose for the scientists to make these unique
porcines. And that purpose is to ... find their pigs in the
dark, I guess. Okay, that's not the reason they gave. They said
it was so that they could track medicines that could be used in
human beings because pigs are often used for animal research
since they are so close to human beings. I know you ladies will
claim that this is only true for the half of the human race, but
it really is all of us.
So, that's why the scientists say they did it, but let's face
fact here: The real reason is that it's just plain fun. Wouldn't
you want a pet that glowed in the dark? I sure would. And we all
know that pigs make wonderful pets. Look at George Clooney. He
has a Vietnamese pot bellied pig and he just loves the thing.
Sure they get a might heavy as they get older, but most of us do
and I would personally love a huge fat pet that made me feel
skinny by comparison.
Then let's take this a step further. Say that for some reason
you do get tired of your huge green glowing friend? Glowing pork
chops. Mmm, mmm. That would be sort of like a candle light meal,
only you wouldn't be eating your meal by candle light but by the
light of the meat itself. Imagine how much more romantic that