ALL THINGS TICKETY-BOO
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006.
ALL THINGS TICKETY-BOO
Or, are you sure everything's A-Okay?
By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D., Head, Department of the
Highly Suspect & Grossly Exaggerated Facts of Life, (more
commonly referred to as figments of one's imagination, farcical
flimflam or simply fanciful fluff that often give rise to too
much heated debate among ephemeral egg-heads at the Creative
Loafing Institute, an under-funded, under-appreciated, and
under-the-radar research center situated somewhere in an
out-of-the-way closet, cubbyhole, or cubicle at the
highly-esteemed University of the Bleeding Obvious).
"Tickety-Boo", (or the lesser-known "tiggerty-boo"), is a rather
titillating tidbit to utter when one feels that "everything's
coming up roses", "life's a bowl full of cherries", or "all's
right with the world".
It is said that this saucy syllabled adjective originated during
the heady days of British colonial rule in India. Nowadays it's
become a curious, quaint, Canadian expression meaning, "good to
go", "in working order" or "running smoothly".
Trust those inhabitants from the 'Land of Sasquatch, Snow Forts
& Santa Claus' to come up with some positive thinking to get
their minds off the bone-chilling, bun-numbing winter
temperatures or having to their find big boots, bug repellant,
and bumbershoots during a two-week long wet summer break with
three rays of sunshine.
Other versions of "everything's OK", "no problem" or "peachy
keen" expressions describing one's attitude to life include a
contribution from those ever so charming 'Yankee Doodle Dandies'
who prefer a word with a little more clout, oomph, and punch
like, "hunky-dory".
So "hunky-dory" aside, just what things do people associate with
"tickety-boo"? Well, after an exhaustive investigation of some
40,800 web pages devoted to "tickety-boo", here are a few
fabulous frivolities that might impress the pants off all one's
"know-it-all" friends, or put a sock in the mouth of the
obnoxious "been there, done that" types.
** An artist management and small television company in
Victoria, B.C. (with a blooming cactus on their
homepage...perhaps implying they can transform prickly plants
into posh plonk or pin-headed personalities into plucky pixies?)
** A UK company offers handcrafted fairy-boxes, door-pegs, and
clocks (for those who are bored with meandering about in the
aisles of bix box stores looking for fruit-flavored baking-soda
toothpaste, anti-streak and smudge-resistant kitchen detergent,
and knee-high hosiery that won't fall down after the first
wearing).
** A British pet, possessions and property-minding service that
caters to jet-setters, junket-lovers, and just jaunty retirees
willing to pay the price for a hassle-free home security
service, (while they buzz off to burn themselves on beaches,
bleed profusely from bedbug bites, or just go blotto from one
too many Bloody Marys!)
** If you like something that's charitable, full-bodied,
fairly-trade, and nice -- then taste some "Tickety-Boo Tea"
(...who said itty-bitty baggies aren't fun?)
** "Super skinny On-One Tickety-Boo rubber grips for maximum
control" might just do the trick (...especially if one's into
bikes and not boudoirs!)
** What makes "The Land of Milk And Honey" go round? Buy
"Ticketyboo-Nappies" on eBay, (millions of wee wet wunderkinds
can't do without them!)
** On your next trip to Nottingham, do drop by the "Tickety-Boo
Day Nursery" (...where Robin Hood & His Merry Men are practicing
how to bond with bunnykins not to mention how to change and
dispose of dirty diapers in an environmentally-friendly manner
without incurring high landfill tipping fees in the 21st
century?)
** Need a bleeping boost? ...Down this digital ditty entitled,
"Tickety-Boo School Tie"! (and maybe you'll be inspired to write
your own wacky or weird tune!)
** "Tickety-Boo Can Do It For You!" (...Especially if you're a
bellyaching bride-to-be or a perturbed princess from up North
somewhere who refuses to spin oodles of yarn or sew her own gown
without the help of a frumpy fairy godmother who adores playing
with pesky pins, naughty needles, and spunky spools of thread!)
** A 62-foot boat with a stern deck built to accommodate a motor
scooter, a diesel boiler with fin rads; a small day cabin
replete with a galley, L-shaped sofa bed with freezer beneath,
wet-locker; a bedroom with a brass double-bed, a loo with a
'Vacuflush' toilet system and a curved "Showerlux' unit (...the
only question is will it accommodate mermaids, mermen and other
merry monsters of the deep?)
** A delightful, affectionate donkey who loves to be cuddled
stroked but doesn't like to be photographed; (why not call it
DNA, a Dysfunctional Nipping Animal?)
So next time when it's raining cats and dogs, you've lost your
bumbershoot, and your cell phone won't work to call a cab, bear
in mind that "every cloud has a silver lining". More to the
point, pucker up and put a smile on your face, hum a happy tune
from your ripsnorting repertoire, and last of all -- remember --
it's up to you to find your own tickety-boo in life!