Evil Super-Villains need Love, Too
I just saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last night.
Really cool movie. By far the best of the lot. But, of course,
the movie gets to the climax where Harry comes face to face with
his nemesis Lord Voldemort in a scary graveyard and they have a
Wizard's duel and Harry is down on the ground where Lord
Voldemort could deliver the coup de Grace. And what does Lord
Voldemort do instead of slaying the foe he has pursued all of
That's right. He gloats. He goes into a big, long tedious
speech, which gives Harry the opportunity of scheming his way
out of it and then the evil lord loses. Again. Why don't these
guys ever figure it out? If you got the good guy on the ropes
just shut up and kill them, already. It's as easy as that.
Ah well, they'll never listen to me, will they?
But that's not my point. My point is: Did you ever notice that
Super Villains never have wives or girlfriends? Think back on
it. Think about every single super villain in the comic books
and in the movies and ask yourself whether you ever see these
dudes with female comapanionship? Lex Luther? Nope. Braniac?
Nope? The Joker? The Penguin? The Bookworm? no. no. And no. Dr.
No. No, way. Dr. Doom? No, there never was a Mrs. Dr. Doom and,
of course, there wasn't any Mrs. Lord Voldemort, either. C'mon,
these guys can't all be gay, can they?
So, what's up with them? Do you think maybe they got the idea
for all this evil crap because they were lonely and had a lot of
time on their hands? Take my word for it, you don't plan the
destruction of the entire world if you have to pick the kids up
from day care and mow the lawn and fix the toilet or listen to
your wife nag you all night long. It doesn't happen.
And that doesn't only hold true in the imaginary world. The most
evil, horrible real-life villains -serial killers - they've
never been lucky with the ladies. Have they? I guarantee you
that if every single one of these awful men'd had a submissive
super model girlfriend they wouldn't have bothered to go out a'
killin'. They would have stayed home. And if for some reason
they still had thoughts about commiting the worst crimes in the
world - I think they would have just kept that to themselves.
Or how about you? Not that I think you're a serial killer or
evil super-villain, but put yourselves in their shoes for just a
second. Which would you rather do if you had the choice: Stay
home with Tyra Banks or go out and murder people?
Yep. Thought so.