It finally happened
As we get older some of us tend to lose our inhibitions and
begin to speak out more. Some would say grumpy old men and
others might be more charitable and say that we speak our mind
but for me, today, it finally happened. At last I got chance to
do something I have always wanted to.
The day started off pretty much the same as any normal Saturday
really. A trip to the local Sainsburys supermarket to get
provisions which inevitably means that I almost always follow
the trolley around the aisles in a dream-like state looking for
all the things that I buy each and every week in an act of
repetition that should be challenged with something like a trip
to Tesco or Asda where the shock of change would force me to get
out of that mode of complacency and habit and actually allow me
to shop for food that I want to eat rather than what I force
myself to eat.
This is not really what I wanted to tell you. Today was in every
way mundane, except for one thing. Today I became an enforcer of
the law. One minute I was citizen Joe, the next I am pulling
over a vehicle and forcing the police to comply with my
instructions.
I was on my way home when it happened. I was following a police
car and about 3 miles from my destination when I noticed that
the car in front, a police patrol car, was slowing down for the
lights and yet no tail lights were showing as the vehicle
decreased in speed. As we waited for the lights to change to
green I watched the vehicle in front as it moved off, increasing
in speed before deceleration and the next traffic lights. This
vehicles rear stop lights were not working. Of that there was no
doubt. As traffic moved away from the lights into the dual
carriageway I began to muse at previous occassions when the
police had stopped me in my youth, either on my motorcycle or as
a young car driver. They might pull me up on the pretext of a
stop light malfunction or anything that might allow them to pull
me over and check my ID or license.
Following the police vehicle for about two miles I suddenly had
this wicked idea. Could I pull it off? What would happen if it
went wrong? What should I do? I could run this through my head
many times or I could act now and do something I had always
wanted to do. This was my chance. Yes, I should seize the
opportunity. Still hesitant I watched the car in front slow down
at the next set of lights. No tail lights again. This car was
illegal.
The lights changed to green. We moved away once again and the
traffic was light. I pulled over into the far lane and began to
overtake the police car. As I drew alongside I beeped the horn
and just like you see on the movies, with a stern face, I
motioned the driver to pull over. The driver was clearly
perplexed. He stared back at me with a blank expressionless face
which changed into a look of disbelief when I ordered him once
again to pull over. This time he complied.
I pulled up behind the police car and lacking blue flashing
lights I was hesitant, but finally convinced myself that I
should play this role to the letter. I put on my four way
emergency flashers. This was it. There was no going back now. I
stepped out of the car and walked slowly and deliberately
towards the drivers side of the vehicle in front. The driver had
not even opened the window. I noticed that there were two of
them in the vehicle. I tapped on the glass. 'Wind down the
window please Sir' I said loudly and with all the authority of
their superior officers. Sheepishly the window was lowered half
way. 'Whats your problem?' the occupant said sharply. 'I have no
problem' I replied curtly. 'It is you that has the problem. Your
rear stop lights are malfunctional and contrary to the road
traffic act of 1958 your vehicle is unfit for the public
highway'. This wasn't going too well. The driver looked annoyed
and shocked. Muttering something about 1956 instead of 1958, I
could barely hear him, he then opened the door and got out of
the car, walking around to the rear of the vehicle and examining
the light units. With his colleage pressing the foot pedal the
policeman shouted to his colleague in confirmation 'Hes right.
They don't work'.
At this point I knew I had them on the run. Their attitude had
changed from being slightly hostile to one of bemusement. I
turned to the driver. As cool as a cucumber I said. ' Sir, I
have a dilemna. You are driving an illegal vehicel and as such I
should insist that you write out a ticket requiring the owners
of the vehicle to produce their MOT, Tax and insurance details
to the nearest police station. Furthermore, you will need to
caution yourselves and make it clear that the necessary action
may be taken with regard to driving an unsafe vehicle on the
public highway. For almost two whole minutes the silence was
intense. Unfortunately it was I that broke the stand off. I just
couldn't go through with it anymore. I looked them dead in the
eye and asked them straight - 'If you had stopped me for faulty
lights what would you have done?' They stumbled, mumbled
something about a caution and then went as quiet as schoolboys.
This was power. This is what they mean about empowerment. This
was my moment of glory. This was payback time!. I had achieved
what I set out to achieve. I managed a wry grin which broke into
a full smile to the relief of the policemen. They even thanked
me for pointing the fault and assured me that they would get the
car back to the station immediately for repair. We shook hands
and parted company. Elated and charged with adrenalin and
personal pride I suddenly realised I still had to get the
potatoes, pick up a TV magazine and go to B & Q. Oh well, that
livened up the day a little.
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