Paris Hilton Over Jennifer Garner: Why?

Paris Hilton and Jennifer Garner are the most popular people these days on the Web search engines. Honest. They're right up there with poetry, Google, and Amoxil. My question is why? I mean, Amoxil I understand. People are searching to find out what it is. And, of course, everybody needs stuff that rhymes. And Google. You can't find poetry or Paris Hilton or Jennifer Garner or anything else without Google. What I really don't understand is why Paris is number one and Jennifer is number four. I can see why Jennifer is popular. I've seen her on "Alias" and she can really kick. Can Paris Hilton kick? I think not. You want a bad guy's face kicked in, even if you've got her cell number you're not gonna call Paris Hilton. Her bio on ABC says, in addition to kicking, Jennifer also can cook, garden, and hike. Can Paris cook and garden? Well, maybe, since she did go to Wal-Mart once. Paris's bio on says she was in "The Cat in the Hat" and the "House of Wax," the kind of movies you get when you can't kick. But maybe Paris Hilton is number one because she doesn't have super dimples. Jennifer Garner has the cutest dimples this side of Shirley Temple's Cabbage Patch doll. You'd think great kicking would offset dimples, but the dimples are probably what's keeping Jennifer from being number one. What else could it be? Or maybe Jennifer's pregnancy has had a negative effect on her kicking. And Paris is keeping the ring! Jennifer would never keep the ring. Oh well. Madonna is number 300. Can't argue with that.