Lord Almighty, A Christian Site
Lord Almighty, A Christian Site
By Punkerslut
Jesus is lord! Wheee!!!!
So there I was, just cruising the internet looking for a batch
of pornography. I go to www.busty-amateurs.com, an old-time
favorite site, and what do I see!? No content, no join, no
free-tour (heh, what I used everytime), no news, just "Jesus
Christ is Lord." And below that "Click Here for Freedom." Yeah,
okay, so about this time, I was in the mood for some freedom. So
I hit that shit up, and it basically brought me to this weird
Christian site. I was like, "No, no, no, man, take me back, I'll
hit up the Christ link," and so, I go there, and am I indeed
amused. I see this weird site, www.settingcaptivesfree.com, and
I decide to watch the intro. To see it, go here...
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm
Yes, if you didn't see it, let me describe it. There's a jail
cell (I like how they did the neat designs for a small padlock)
and there's writing on the walls. First, you have some of the
essentials, "Pornography," and "Smoking." Then some more of the
good ones with "Overeating," and "Drinking," and
"Homosexuality." And then this dude just squatting on the floor,
with chains on his hands. And then boom! A cross blows up the
front door and flies through (padlocks aren't very effective).
The dude smiles and it looks like he suffered a facial,
self-inflicted gunshot wound. I mean, it's pretty rough, that's
all I'm gonna say. He throws his arms at the cross and the end.
I'm not really sure what they're trying to say, exactly. Is
overeating and smoking sinful? Probably. I mean, if you're
Catholic, Presbytarian, or any other happiness-is-evil cult,
sure. Drinking is bad? Bah. A bottle of vodka made me felt more
euphoric than Jesus when I did believe in a god. Honestly, they
don't ever say that Jesus feels better than alcohol, because
then the world would just totally stop taking them seriously (I
mean, even more so than now). Yeah, yeah, yeah... I could go on
mocking them for a long, long time. Instead, I showed it to a
whole bunch of people, and here are some responses...
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol Ely:
what Ely: what the hell is going on Punkerslut: lol Ely: That's
the nicest dressed prisoner i've ever seen Ely: burn him at the
stake! Punkerslut: And so ugly.
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm Megan:
wow. Megan: that is so inspirational.. Punkerslut: lol
Punkerslut: Man, I better cut back on my Homosexuality and
drinking. =( Megan: now i have the urge to handcuff myself and
wait for a huge gold cross to set me free! Punkerslut: Yay!!!!
Megan: very kinky ;-) Punkerslut: Man, this is so rough.
Punkerslut: God was at the door, "Have you been writing your
secret fantasies on my walls again?" Megan: very crazy.
Punkerslut: I'mma write an article about this. Megan: because
homosexuality is definatly a reason to be in jail Punkerslut:
looool Megan: i mean, homosexuality is soooo gay...
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol
Letter God: delightful Letter God: I hope jesus comes through
with the jail break if I ever get locked up Punkerslut: Yeah, he
never did that for me. =( Punkerslut: God was at the door, "Have
you been writing your secret fantasies on my walls again?"
Letter God: heh
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol
Richard: .. Punkerslut: lol Punkerslut: Isn't that FREAKING
COOL!? Richard: no Richard: no it isn't Punkerslut: Pffft, nerd.
Punkerslut: Sinner!
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm You'll
LOVE this. Dan: oh man, that was so lame Punkerslut: lol Dan: he
should reject god and go look at some porn and shit Punkerslut:
Hell yeah. Punkerslut: And get drunk. Dan: yeah Dan: religious
people suck, like those that are heavy into it Dan: if you wanna
believe in god hey whatever, but some people take it too far for
my liking Punkerslut: Yeah.
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol
Caley: Mmm.....sacrilicious. Punkerslut: Oh, hell yeah.
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol
Darren: i dont get it Darren: ;p Punkerslut: It's funny!
Punkerslut: He was.... the guy is..... there are things.....
awww, forget it. Darren: ohh Darren: nevermind i get it Darren:
;p Punkerslut: =) Darren: homosexuality was the best
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm Jesus Is
LorD! WHEE! Derrek: yay Punkerslut: You'll like that site.
Punkerslut: lol, trust me Derrek: oh geez this is beyond lame
Derrek: haha Punkerslut: lol, right Punkerslut: Man, I could get
drunk and watch this.... alllllll dayyyyyy....
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Punkerslut: ETHAN!!!!! Ethan: hey Punkerslut: I just discovered
the coolest thing evar!!! Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm Jesus Is
Lord! WHEE! Ethan: that was fun Punkerslut: lol Punkerslut:
Don't tell me you didn't like it. Ethan: it was absurd
Punkerslut: lol, it soooo was Punkerslut: Man, I'mma get drunk
and watch this a whole bunch of times! Ethan: ok
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol
Punkerslut: Okay. Punkerslut: WATCH! Glittering Insanity: ooooo
bondage. Glittering Insanity: muaha. Glittering Insanity: this
is making me upset. homosexuality is right up there with
violence and such. NYARGH. Punkerslut: WHAT VIOLENCE!?
Punkerslut: There's drinking and overeating! Punkerslut: It's
the wall of "Things To DO!" Glittering Insanity: oh. well. porno
then Glittering Insanity: lol! Glittering Insanity: pornography
smoking overeating drinking homosexuality Glittering Insanity:
that is the wall of things to do. Punkerslut: Yeaaaaaaap.
Glittering Insanity: well. if it said smoking pot. Glittering
Insanity: i dont want to smoke cigs. bad bad. Punkerslut:
Technicalities. Glittering Insanity: lol! Punkerslut: Man, Jesus
is awesome... Will you put me in handcuffs and break through the
door? Glittering Insanity: lol. Glittering Insanity: kinky
kinky. Glittering Insanity: is that site serious? Punkerslut:
lol, yeah Punkerslut: www.settingcaptivesfree.com Punkerslut:
That's the funny part. Punkerslut: Man, this is never gonna get
old. Punkerslut: [replay] Glittering Insanity: PURE FREEDOM TOUR
Punkerslut: As Orwell once said, "Slavery is freedom, ignorance
is strength, war is peace." Glittering Insanity: ..... they like
blue and yellow. Punkerslut: And white! Glittering Insanity: ..
and black. Punkerslut: And....... yellow. Glittering Insanity: i
said yellow!! >:o Punkerslut: [was already in Mexico by the time
you could respond] Glittering Insanity: lol. what the fuck.
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm
Punkerslut: WATCH THAT NOOOWWWWWW!!!!! The Plastic Jesus:
Alright. The Plastic Jesus: Aw, wtf! Punkerslut: loooool
Punkerslut: isn't that coool!???????? The Plastic Jesus:
Totally. Punkerslut: There's a flying cross! The Plastic Jesus:
Is that guy you? Punkerslut: Hey, fuck you! The Plastic Jesus:
lol Punkerslut: I'm not imprisoned by drinking... Drinking is my
liberator. Punkerslut: And don't start with your, "It may seem
that way, my brother in Christ...." The Plastic Jesus: lol
Punkerslut: Man, they have an SWF on alcoholism. Shit, does
anyone think you can be an alcoholic WITHOUT being homeless? The
Plastic Jesus: lol, I'm not sure... and remember if you like
drugs you MUST be homeless! Punkerslut: True. The Plastic Jesus:
WTF, this site sucks. Punkerslut: lol
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm
Punkerslut: WATCH!!!! Punkerslut: Did you see it? John E: yeap.
Punkerslut: Oh, man. Punkerslut: Was that awesome, or what. John
E: I have no speakers, heh. Punkerslut: Aw. John E: so maybe.
;-) Punkerslut: There was crappy music in the background, is
all. Punkerslut: Besides, it's an SWF! Punkerslut: With a flying
cross! Punkerslut: And.... homosexuality! John E: I wish I had a
flying cross. John E: Instead all I've got is an intense desire
to nap. John E: Damn that was smooth, be back in an hour, lol.
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm GO HERE
NOW! SymTrips: ugh WTF? Punkerslut: lol, wasn't that awesome?
Punkerslut: Dude, now don't told me that you haven't felt
imprisoned by homosexuality, too. SymTrips: I wasn't paying too
much attention to it... what was the message? Punkerslut:
Uuummmm, being gay with inanimate objects is okay with god.
SymTrips: o ok SymTrips: hahaha
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm lol,
this is the coolest! Rachel: OK Rachel: ill check it out in a
min. Punkerslut: CHECK IT OUT!!!!????? Punkerslut: lol, it's
hilarious Rachel: since when wereu so religious Punkerslut:
lol.... I'm not Punkerslut: I think Christianity is a sham.
Rachel: o Rachel: lolic Punkerslut: And that little movie is the
most amusing ever. Punkerslut: Look! Pornography and drinking on
the same wall! It's heaven! Rachel: ,lol Rachel: ya Punkerslut:
Man, I gotta find more people to show this video to. Rachel: lol
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Punkerslut: Duuuuuude!!!!! Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm GO HERE
NOW! Uncouth Ranting: Oh dear. Punkerslut: lol Punkerslut: Isn't
that great?
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm Check it
out!!!!!! NiD: heeheeheeheeeheeheehee Punkerslut: WHATCHYA"
THINK~!? NiD: it's hilarious Punkerslut: lol, it's not as bad
when you're drunk.
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Punkerslut:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/flash_intro.htm Check it
out!!!!!!! Coincidence: What in the fuck was that? Punkerslut:
Wasn't that the coolest!? Coincidence: If by the coolest you
mean the lamest. Punkerslut: How the hell do you masturbate with
handcuffs on? Coincidence: Oh, come on, dude! Use your
imagination! Coincidence: Ummm... Coincidence: Why did you send
this to me? Punkerslut: Why DIDN'T I send it to you?
Coincidence: Please... Must I answer that? Punkerslut: Well,
it's funny, man. Coincidence: True, and in a way, sad.
Punkerslut: Don't dwell on it too much. =( Coincidence: Why is
that guy on his knees at the end? Punkerslut: Well, he WAS
chilling out in a room that had the word "homosexuality" written
on the wall. [cough] And he had handcuffs on.... did I mention
he was in a room where "homosexuality" was written on the wall?
Coincidence: You did. Punkerslut: Oh.
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Also, we respect your right to believe as you choose, but those
in the following religions are not allowed to become mentors
with Setting Captives Free: Muslims, Mormons, Jehovah's
Witnesses, Catholics, Seventh-Day Adventists, Christian
Scientists or Unitarians.
-- SettingCaptivesFree.com
www.punkerslut.com
For Life, Punkerslut