Copyright The Quipping Queen 2004. THINGS PERFECTLY NORMAL BEASTS DO It's amazing what "Perfectly Normal Beasts" will do in a pinch. Being a "Beast" is one thing, but being a "Perfectly Normal Beast" is quite another. And being a Perfectly Normal Beast in a pinch, well that's a fate worse than death (especially if hunter-matadors are involved). Now, if you're the least bit curious about "Life, the Universe and Everything" (including a blessed Bob-fearing planet that shall remain nameless), then you probably know all about Perfectly Normal Beasts. But, if you've never hazarded a guess about Life, the Universe and Everything and are slightly overwhelmed by such an XL-thought, fear not. If lost ...then follow these simple instructions: The following list will help you to navigate the very first stage of this protracted process called, "Discovering Life, the Universe and Everything". Take a deep breath, think nice thoughts, and follow these instructions (remember -- no ands, ifs, or buts). Ahem! May I have your attention please!! LISTEN UP TWATS!!! Enough with the tah tah, tally ho, pip pip and all that ... just work with me people and: (a) show up at any airport, (b) bring along your passport and a small bag (that you've packed yourself naturally) and, (c) obtain a boarding pass for the next "Flight of Fancy" (departing whenever enough folks like you show up to take it for goodness sake). Meanwhile back at the ranch... Getting back to Perfectly Normal Beasts -- (PNBs for short) -- and the perfectly normal things that they do. Well for starters, you'll know when you've run into them if they: (1) appear to be huge, hot and heaving hoofers (that you've never set eyes upon in a petting zoo or better yet, never even accosted in a dank, dark, and dreary alleyway -- thank your lucky stars and get your buns outta there!) (2) are hanging out in herds on the back nine -- far removed from hunter-matadors (swinging golf clubs, what else!) (3) seem to be galloping at full speed toward you (4) are doing a lot of snorting, panting, sweating and sniffing (while galloping at full speed toward you) (5) occasionally are found breaking wind with ease (incidentally, some fetid-oriented folk consider them a