Floorspace
Floorspace By Dan Reinhold
Odd how frightening the unknown can be.
The other day, I encountered something so rare and unusual, it
was like a dream.
The last unexplored and little understood frontier.
Floorspace.
With two boys in the house, pandemonium is the norm. Both toys
and clothing desert the confines of bureaus and shelves, instead
preferring to claim their rightful place on the bedroom floor
where they are much closer to hand.
The wide expanses upon which we walk provide a home to all that
land upon it - wrappers, paper, books, blankets, hermit crabs...
Oh...that's another story.
The reassuring squishes, crunches and snaps bring comfort to the
young overseers, confident that somewhere below...the floor is
there.
I entered this domain with an awe borne of my desensitisation to
shock at the sight. Valiant and determined forays to tame the
wilderness had always been undone by its rapid regrowth,
rivaling any spreading menace known to man.
This day, my eye lit upon a sight so strange, so wondruous that
I was transfixed by it. The legends were true, the evidence
revealed...In the middle of the room, was a flat,, shallow space
foreign to its surroundings. It was like gazing upon the Holy
Grail.
Floorspace.
Fearful at the sight no parent of boys had seen, I began to
sweat and shiver, with a deep ache within. I stood frozen as the
two overseers entered the room.
"Hi, Dad!"
"Uh...Dad?"
"What's up with Dad??"
My mouth moved, but no sound came forth as I pointed toward the
mystery.
"Think he's OK?"
"Yeah...probably just a heart attack or something"
"Oh.......wanna play ball?"
"OK!!"
Side note: Should you ever need assistance while in my area, I
highly recommend the local paramedic service. Very prompt and
efficient, although their dispatchers require further training
in interpreting gasps and chokes...
Staring at the ambulance ceiling light, I felt a sense of peace
and enlightenment.
Let others pursue Shangri-La.
I had seen...Floorspace.
Working at home provides Dan Reinhold with many out-of-your-mind
experiences. That's why he's the editor of WAHumor, the humor
newsletter by and for the work at home community, so that others
may keep their grasp on what little sanity can be found in the
crazy work at home world! Launching on August
2...www.WAHumor.com!!! For details about our special pre-launch
goodie, go to Launchpromo@sendfree.com