All Day Sitting, Staring, Looking at Shadows on the Wall!

Some days just feel like this doesn't? It's like you are in a trance like state and all you can do is stare at shadows on the wall. Sitting staring losing you're self in the past and projecting yourself into the future. Now how can we just stare at shadows? Simple we think we are the wake of the boat, the waves behind the boat. We are no longer present in the NOW, but please know you are not the wake of the boat anymore, and then the appearance of gray makes you really old. I know some guys who gray at age thirty, some lose all their hair. So you see you are standing at the wheel of the boat driving it and the wake left behind is your past life moments. They don't control you, at all only if you let them. So if you are the driver of the boat, why are you constantly always look backwards to see the wake? It is no longer relevant to your situation. It's in the past where it should stay, never to bother us again. Jesus said anyone plowing the field and turns around and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of heaven. What is he trying to convey to you? Well it's not literally looking back while plowing that will make you unworthy of heaven. What he's saying is that yesterday is gone forget about it and move forward, it severs no propose to look back. You are not the wake remember you are the one driving the boat and that is what Jesus meant in this parable. So just as you are not the wake, you should try and focus all your energy on the NOW, that is all we are ever promised, so the memory of some long forgotten day in the past please bury it and let it go! So do you see how starring at shadows all day could serve a purpose? It can and I am going to tell why right now. While you are seeing the shadows on the wall you are present because you can't see shadows on the wall, unless there is first a shadow to see, which means you are present in the now or you wouldn't see the shadow, all you would do is look back and miss the whole point.