HOW NOT TO FEEL LONELY
We all are alone sometimes, but that does not mean feeling
lonely; we can be alone and be perfectly happy, so what is it
that makes us feel lonely and how can we make ourselves feel
good?
But also why do we feel lonely?
I have worked with many clients who have experienced abuse in
one form or the other in their lives and there is a common
factor, which is in fact the feeling of loneliness they
experience.
And I have worked with many expatriates who experience the same
feeling as well.
And also people unhappy in their relationships or families
experience the same.
So, what is this feeling of loneliness that so many people
experience?
Loneliness is a feeling of inner void and feeling of loss, loss
of someone and, in a way, loss of ourselves. It is a feeling of
being a victim or being betrayed, or not in control of our
lives.
And of course the feeling of loneliness comes out at particular
times, such as Christmas.
And there is a common pattern, which is that when we feel lonely
we tend to fill our lives with work and more work, or with
Charity work.
And we look forward that the Christmas holidays are over in
order to start the same routine again.
But between you and me, we know that this does not solve the
situation, don't we?
It is important to look into the eyes of the feeling of
loneliness and the pain it causes and deal with it, otherwise it
will come back again and again.
Ok, what are the most important factors to feel good even if you
are alone, and not to feel lonely?
First of all you need to organize your life, you need to
establish a sort of structure.
It is a question of taking ownership and control of yourself and
your life and deciding who you want to be and how you want to
live your life.
Then self-esteem is a very important factor, because self-esteem
is what makes you feel good.
You need to start liking yourself, respecting yourself, putting
yourself first. Be yourself and give value to yourself.
Develop a belief that you can create anything you want in your
life, so if you want more friends, plan in advance for the kind
of friends you want, for the kind of people you want in your
life, and reach out for them.
And also a belief that it is ok to be alone, that you simply
organize your life.
And once you are in control of your life and you feel good about
yourself, you simply decide what you want to do.
Copyright Piercarla Garusi 2006. All rights reserved.