End Your Fear of Failure

It is dangerous to have your own fears working against you, especially the fear of failure or success. Either can cause you to freeze and create the situation you fear, even causing failure to thrive. Everyone is going to fall short or experience failure. The important question is not "did you experience failure?" Rather the important question is "how did you react to the failure?" Coming up short of a desired outcome can be a great teacher. Much of what people have learned, which has been the key to success, has come from overcoming adversity. Mistakes help us discover how not to do a thing. Success is also a great teacher, showing us how to do a thing. It is important to see success and failure equal in terms of the lessons both bring. I was being interviewed as an expert for a book on success. The author asked, "Lori Prokop, how do great leaders handle success?" I replied, "Great leaders are not as devastated by failure or as elated by successes. They take both in stride knowing they will continue to experience both as they move forward. They are more excited by the insights and knowledge they master as a result of both success and failure." Great accomplishments can launch from failure. But if you stop because of failure, you will experience that failure forever. When you experience failure, and you will, step back and in a non-judgmental manner take a good look at it. I recommend the words of a great mentor of mine, Ted Nicholas, when he advised me, "Lori Prokop, say these incredibly powerful words, 'I forgive myself and others for mistakes of the past.'" I also suggest to you what another great teacher said, "Lori Prokop, you cannot look rationally at the equation or steps which lead to any outcome until you have healed the negative or hurtful emotions attached." As you are healing regarding the outcome, ask yourself why this path failed. When you have forgiven yourself and others for mistakes of the past (even if the past is just moments ago), you can look at the situation wiser, more competent and with the sense that failure is only temporary and success is inevitable.