Softball Sagas and Signature Strengths
I am arguably the world's worst softball player. Or certainly
would be placed in the lowest identifiable percentile of
softball skill levels. I'm one of those players who garners
comments from people on the sidelines, such as, "Wow, she must
have a lot of other gifts because softball is definitely not one
of them."
During my first game, I sustained a fairly severe concussion
when the pitcher slammed the ball into the side of my head. He
was quite certain, I'm sure, that he had calculated his
trajectory correctly, assuming that no adult woman could run as
slowly as I did. Well, he was wrong and he wound up launching a
missile-worthy throw straight into the left side of my skull. I
still have a dent there. Maybe that should have been a sign to
me that softball just isn't my calling. But I didn't pay
attention. I kept on lurching, hiccupping, and laughing my way
through many additional--and entertaining--attempts to master
the game.
It actually took me two full seasons to score a run. If I
remember correctly, it was the last game of the second season
when I finally made it home for the first time. My team's sole
mission for two years was to steward me across home plate in a
triumphant, run-scoring parade. Every game held new possibility
and every game left hopes dashed. They coined little mantras to
chant me on, stood with baited breath each rare event when I
actually hit the ball, and offered heartfelt "maybe next times"
after each valiant attempt.
On the day I actually scored the run, my teammates were so
elated that every single one of them rushed the field to
celebrate with me in a rowdy display of support. The other team
stood dumbfounded in their positions, wondering what madness had
ensued. I mean, it was just a run, right? Not the last game of
the World Series. But our team was drunk with joy over my bold
triumph against all odds.
The most memorable example of my predisposition to softball
ineptitude happened on one of the uncommon occasions when I
actually hit the ball. Because I wasn't accustomed to hitting
it, it took a second or two for me to process that I was
supposed to start running to first base. By some miraculous
coincidence, it seems that the other team didn't think I would
hit the ball either (why would that be?) so they, too, were
unprepared to act. Shocked and amazed as I was, I started
running. When I realized that they were fumbling around missing
the renegade ball, it dawned on me that I might, indeed, make it
to first base. Only I would have to run faster to do that.
With enthusiasm, I hit my own little personal turbo charge
button and started sprinting toward first. The only problem was
that my upper body started running faster than my lower body.
Perhaps you know where this is going. Gravity is such that one
cannot sustain one's upper body running faster than one's lower
body for very long. I made this observation at a point when I
was hovering at about a 45 degree angle from the ground. I
thought to myself, "I wonder how long I can keep this up?" I
then realized that, evidently, it wouldn't be for much longer.
I hit the ground with the force of a speeding freight train
(courtesy of my rather ineffective, but powerful, turbo charge)
and proceeded to roll four or five times, until I finally came
to rest at the side of the dugout. Yes, it was the fence that
stopped me from careening any further out of control.
The crowd was deathly silent, wondering if I had broken any
bones, wounded my psyche for all of eternity, or a combination
of both. After a quick self-assessment to determine that none of
these cases applied, I started laughing until I nearly turned
blue. Well, actually, I guess I did turn kind of blue. This
shade change was made possible by the following sponsors: the
rolling wake of a dust storm churned up by my turbo charge and
my uncontrollable laughing fit. The combination of these two
events effectively yielded an asthma-induced coughing fit for
the better part of 20 minutes.
This incident is the talk of our circle of friends. When people
say, "It couldn't have been that bad," I reluctantly have to
affirm that, "Yes, it was that bad. And, unfortunately, I have
far too many witnesses to confirm that." But I always follow up
that story with the qualification that we are not all gifted in
the same ways. Some people (obviously not me), are talented
softball players or sports stars. Others are good with numbers,
cars, gourmet cooking, or kids. I'm pretty skilled with words
and with people.
Fortunately, I'm surrounded by people who use their gifts in
ways that support me in using mine. For instance, Nola, my
database wizard, keeps me organized and connected; Kerri my
techno-guru, publishes my e-zine; and Debe, my bookkeeping diva,
is turning my financial systems into, well, honest-to-goodness
financial systems. Now, I can do all of these things--manage
databases, e-zines, and accounting records--it's just that, like
softball, it's not necessarily pretty when I do it. It is far
more productive and less stressful for everyone involved when
they exercise their gifts in these areas and allow me to
exercise my gifts with words and people. When we do that,
everyone wins.
And you can do the same. All it takes is learning about what you
do best and applying your unique strengths and gifts every day,
in every way you can. Your inner genius is second nature to
you--it's what you feel you do best, what yields the best
outcomes for you, and what others notice about your unique
abilities. When you're working in your area of expertise, you'll
have nearly unlimited energy, creativity, and growth
opportunities associated with it. And, you'll find that both you
and others realize tremendous benefit when you're using those
strengths as often as possible. So, how do you do that? Here are
a few suggestions to get you started:
1) Take the "Signature Strengths Survey." Log on to
http://www.authentichappiness.org and click on the link to take
the "VIA Signature Strengths Survey" (located in the top
left-hand corner of the website). This survey takes about 20
minutes and will help you identify some of your key strengths.
Then, look for ways you can use those strengths each day in the
different areas of your life--work, relationships, parenting,
self-improvement, or other roles. The more you apply your
strengths, the more successful and fulfilled you'll feel in all
of these areas.
2) Ask people. Select at least five people from different areas
of your life (family, friends, work, etc.) and ask them what
they think are your unique gifts--gifts that show up across ALL
areas of your life, not just in professional settings. When they
respond, simply record their answers and see what themes emerge
for you about your signature strengths. Again, look for ways to
apply those abilities in all areas of your life on a daily
basis.
3) Use other resources and strategies. Check out chapter five in
my book, Living With Intention (or the corresponding audio
program), for a wide array of other resources for identifying
and applying your unique gifts in meaningful ways.
Do these things to gain reassurance that, even though we are not
all born to play softball (thankfully, because if we were I'd be
in major trouble), we are all born with a unique, inner
brilliance just begging to be shared. Once you identify yours
and begin using it daily, you will find an unlimited source of
fulfillment and success. Give it a try and see where your
strengths lead you!
NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic
newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and
unaltered (including the "about the author" info). If use of
this article is desired in print, you must first contact Deanna
Davis at Deanna@appliedinsight.net