Learn to face up to difficulty
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it
is because we do not dare that they are difficult." -- Seneca
the Younger
This is a great quote to both contemplate and to apply to your
life.
How often do you hear people complain? Pick a topic-love,
friendship, careers, etc. The list of issues that people
complain about is endless. You and I are no different. Perhaps
we don't complain about each of these things but more than
likely there is something that we complain about with great
regularity.
Now, sometimes complaints are simply a way to vent some
frustration at the moment but we don't really want anything to
change in this area. However, more often than not, someone
regularly complains about one specific problem
If I had a dollar for every time I heard one friend complain
about the difficulty of finding a good man I could throw her a
huge wedding bash or perhaps simply buy her a husband in some
small third-world country. When I thought about my friend
Donna's problem and applied Seneca's quote to it a light bulb
suddenly appeared above my head just like in the cartoons!
It was true! Donna is having difficulty finding a good man
simply because she isn't daring enough. Sure she goes out on
dates and tries to maintain an active social life, however she
holds herself aloof emotionally. She isn't willing to dare much
at all when it comes to her heart-so how can she hope that
someone else will do so for her? Sure, there might be someone,
somewhere, but she is also missing out on relationships, at
least friendships, with some really great guys simply because
she is too afraid to dare to care.
That is sad. We all know that love is marvelous but it is also
frightening, however we have to take risks in order to
experience it fully. Sometimes we might get hurt however more
often than not we will find the rewards outweigh the risks.
There is no guarantee that is Donna opens herself up and dares
to love that she will find the love of her life-however there is
certainly a guarantee that a life filled with love is more
rewarding than one that is not.
I have another friend who is also afraid to dare. Jeff hates his
job. No, that's not exactly right. He loves the work itself but
he really hates the company that he works for. He finds the
management very difficult to work for (and if even a small
percentage of the stories he tells are true then he's right, it
is a horrible place to work).
However, every time I suggest he look for a job somewhere else
he comes up with some excuse about how difficult it would be.
True the job market isn't great, but he's a skilled worker in a
high-demand field so I'm sure he could find something. He's
doomed his job search before he even started it because he's not
daring enough.
It wouldn't be fair to share my friends' examples without
pointing to my own shortcomings. Probably the greatest
difficulty in my own life is within my marriage and that is
simply because I don't dare enough emotionally there. I have
become too complaisant and take my husband and marriage for
granted. I need to dare more emotionally.
So think about the difficulties in your own life and apply
Seneca's rule then decide if you can be more daring! All the
best!