The Comfort Zone
Signals from Diann S.Cannon, Personal & Business Coach
The Comfort Zone
Remember that big conversation you had with yourself, in which
you vowed to lose weight or find a new career or start
exercising, etc? Do things always seem to get in the way of
accomplishing even the simplest of goals like calling potential
clients? If you find yourself in the intellectual zone and not
the productive zone, I have some ideas for you to think about if
you're willing to break out of your personal "comfort zone".
What is it that separates productive people from those who for
what ever reason are unable to be all that they would like to
be? It is an irony to be sure, but our comfort zones can
actually bring about a great deal of discomfort when they keep
us from accomplishing things that are important to us.
In my coaching practice, I frequently ask specific questions
that enable me to understand my client(s) thought processes.
Discovering how people think allows me to determine the "zone"
they operate within. Take some time with me now to evaluate your
thinking processes and see how they impede or encourage your
overall productivity.
Productivity is fueled by self-talk. Self-talk is nothing more
than thoughts, but thoughts have the power to motivate or
cripple us. What we believe to be true about our environment and
ourselves is derived from our core beliefs, which is the most
accurate predictor of all for happiness, contentment and
success.
In other words, it's our core beliefs that make up our comfort
zone. Comfort zones usually feel familiar and predictable and
THAT is what makes them comfortable, NOT the experiences or
outcomes associated with them. That is why it is possible to get
stuck in a comfort zone even when it's extremely uncomfortable
or painful being there.
It has been said in many different ways that the brain can only
truly focus on one thing at a time. If your focus is say, losing
weight, but one of your core beliefs is that you are
unattractive, your brain will go into overdrive processing all
the competing messages and negative self-talk, which will cause
you to become distracted from your focus and robbed of the
energy you need to be successful. Allowing negative thoughts and
emotions to rule our interior keeps us from being productive and
happy.
If you're wondering how to breakthrough situations like this,
it is often helpful to just take a moment and really listen to
what you are saying to yourself. Really hear it. Taking a
non-judgmental position, ask yourself if the negative message(s)
is really true or a faulty core belief that has no basis in
reality. Next, ask yourself whether the old thought patterns of
discouragement originated from someone in your past. If so, then
put it in the proper perspective and decide on a replacement
message that more accurately describes who you are. Encourage
yourself to reinforce the new message over and over again when
(notice I didn't say if) you stumble. This topic is beautifully
explored in Byron Katie's book Loving What Is: Four Questions
That Can Change Your Life.
Negative messages can paralyze us with indecision. But being
able to make decisions is a huge part of being productive. There
comes a point when it is time to stop collecting information and
get into action. Let's face it; we are all human and there are
no perfect human beings. And the simple truth is that no matter
what you do, someone is not going to like it! But making
decisions that are sound and right for you are essential
components to living a meaningful life.
If you find that you are dealing with a faulty core belief, you
will recognize it for the old baggage it is by comparing the
degree of your reaction to the severity of the incident. If your
reaction is out of proportion to the situation, you can pretty
much bank on it being old baggage. So get rid of the baggage if
you are interested in changing your life. Those who have worked
through their baggage are usually pro-active. Stephen Covey
describes this as the "Circle of Concern/Circle of Influence". I
highly recommend his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People.
So, if it is a new career you are interested in, take an
action! Get your resume updated, check out the newspaper
classified ads, or start networking with friends and colleagues.
By listening to the "signals" your intuition sends you and
taking an action on its behalf, you will automatically feel
stronger and more confident. That is what comes of being true to
your self. It's not listening to your truth that is depressing
and destructive.
Also, take stock of the community of people you choose to be
around. Do you spend your time with people who hate their jobs,
who only work for the paycheck and sit around waiting for a
better life to happen to them? Get out of there! Don't allow
yourself to be contaminated by that kind of energy. I have a
group of peers who are all very interested in continuous
improvement that I meet with once a week. Spending time together
is a good way to reinforce our values. Guess what? These people
tend to hang out with other like-minded people as well, because
they know that the people you hang around with affects your
overall productivity.
Finally, you may need to eliminate something in your current
schedule to free up the time and effort you will need to do this
work and accomplish your goals. Be honest with your self; make a
list of the things you can do by yourself, acknowledge your
limitations and then respect the boundaries between. Is there
something you can delegate to someone else? If you think you are
the only one that can do what you do properly, get real! Don't
make it harder on yourself than it has to be.
So, be true to yourself and seek to find out what you value and
what you do not. This makes decision making much easier and
quicker. The more quickly you can make decisions, the more
productive you will be.
Action ~ When you have a new project that you would like to
incorporate into your life, be willing to be honest. Challenge
your core beliefs and then give yourself permission to replace
the old negative messages with new encouraging self-talk. Be
realistic about how much time your goal will take and then carve
out the necessary time on your calendar to accomplish what you
want to do. Change is crucial. It will happen.
Diann S. Cannon Personal & Business Coach
Speaker & Facilitator 702.656.3225 or cell 702.218.0037
"Live your Life fully engaged"
Nothing happens without personal transformation ~ W. Edwards
Deming