It's In the Can

A few weeks ago I wrote about a bike ride I'd completed and how a goal-setting process helped me accomplish something well beyond what I'd ever done before. One reader replied talking about setting goals for herself. That she needed to set specific goals, because she usually just tries to have it all, and she can't. I probably could have focused on the message about setting specific goals. Instead another word jumped out at me in that email. "Can't." Did you ever hear a quote to the effect of "if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right"? In prosperity reading we see a lot about the power of our thoughts and words, and the way they come true. How many words are more powerful than "can't"? Think about it. Once you say you "can't", all your creative juices stop. You stop thinking of possibilities. You stop seeing opportunities. You mentally slam a door. Several years ago I took a workshop that focused on who I was and who I wanted to be, how to harness my own abilities to create the type of life and relationships I wanted. I won't say the experience was easy, but I will say that through the challenges that came up in that workshop I lost the word "can't." I just don't say it any more, and mentally cringe when someone else does. Why would we throw up roadblocks like that? Sure, there are some absolutes. I can't fly to the sun for my vacation. I can't have my great-great-grandfather join me for a picnic. A 300-pound football player can't be a good jockey. But those absolutes are so few compared to how often we use the word. I started breaking myself of the "can't" habit by using a metaphor that might be a little ugly, but it gets the point across. The idea is, what would it take? Say I got the idea in my head that I wanted to win a tap dance competition three months from now. I've never tap danced in my life. It's easy to say forget it, I can't win. But what if I take a different angle: If someone were holding a gun to my head saying Debbie, you have to win that competition or else, what would I do? Well, I'd get going, wouldn't I? I'd start now looking for the best studio I could find. Maybe it wouldn't be convenient, or cheap. Maybe it would completely interfere with my other commitments. Maybe I'd have to take a leave of absence from my job, rent a room halfway across the country, and do nothing but tap dance for the next three months. Now, in real life, am I likely to do all that? No. But it's not because I can't. It's because the price is too high, and I've chosen not to. See the difference? Just switching that mindset from "can't" to "what would it take" mentally opens the door to all kinds of possibilities. Maybe you choose not to, but you make an informed and considered decision, and you stay in charge. Not circumstances, but your choices. How empowering is that?