Support For Non-ADD Spouses And Partners
Living with adult ADD can be quite a challenge. Not only is it a
challenge for the actual person who has ADD but for those around
him or her. Much needed understanding and support for adults
with ADD has finally begun to surface. But what about the people
who have chosen to love, honor and cherish adults with ADD?
Where do they go for support and understanding? Who is going to
help them cope with the challenges of adult ADD?
Over the past couple of years both online and local support
groups have begun to form for spouses and partners of adults
with ADD. The Non-ADD Partner Support groups seem like a miracle
for spouses and significant others of adults with ADD. They
finally have a place to be understood and supported. Well, at
least that is what many Non-ADD partners expect when entering
and participating in these groups.
Many of these groups do offer personal understanding and
camaraderie which are essential parts of support. These same
groups point their members towards vital resources about ADD
which can help educate their members. Some even try to educate
their members directly about ADD. Again these are all great
steps in being a support group.
One may actually look at these Non-ADD Partner support groups
and think that the group itself has ADD. Many of these groups
fail to complete the actual task of being supportive. They tend
to leave out some vital steps like offering helpful advice.
There is advice given, like make sure your partner is diagnosed
and put on medication, which in many circumstances can be very
helpful. But, the advice seems to end there.
Many non-ADD partners enter these groups looking for day to day
strategies and coping techniques. Some of their spouses and
partners are already taking medication and some for their own
personal reasons have opted not to take medication. Some of
these support group leaders seem to push the use of medication
on to the groups' participants. It has even been reported that
support group leaders give advice about specific medication from
their non-medical backgrounds.
Non-ADD Partner Group participants have reported that some of
these groups are very negative. These participants go into the
groups expecting people to share problems and have its fair
share of negativity but, many leave these groups because the
energy is much too negative. Some Non-ADD partners are
astonished of how much bad mouthing goes on in these groups and
how hateful many of the participants are towards their
significant others. Quite a few non-ADD partners feel as though
they don't fit into these groups because their issues don't seem
as important as other members of the groups.
So where do non-ADD partners who want tips, strategies and a
more positive environment turn to? There different options out
there. They can start their own Non-ADD Partner Support groups
and set specific ground rules. They can speak up if they are
already part of a group that does not seem supportive and let
the support group leader know how they feel. They can become a
member of ADDA which supports Adult ADD issues including non-ADD
Partners. They can also hire an ADD Coach who works with ADD
couples.
Non-ADD Partners need to know that they are not alone and that
there is help and support for them too. There are others out
there who are sharing similar experiences as they are. There are
ways to find both support and understanding too.