Attention Pastors Wives!
A T T E N T I O N P A S T O R S W I V E S!
"No More Bags"
by Kathy Pedeaux
Wouldn't you agree that life is too short to live with bags
over our heads? Pastor's wives and women in full-time ministry
have for too long been deceived into thinking that they must
perform roles that have been dictated by church politics, and
stereotyping of the functions of the Pastor's wife. This is when
we feel like putting a bag over our heads, pretend to be someone
else or just to hide from people and responsibilities that were
never meant to be ours. It is destructive for the church as well
as the precious women that fall into this trap. It is
destructive for the church because it directly affects the
pastor through the unhappiness, fear, and frustration of the
wife. Secondly it is destructive to the wife because it promotes
fear, insecurtiy, anxiety, depression, and other negative
emotions. One of the saddest and most damaging things in the
Kingdom of God is an unhappy Pastors wife. Read next months
article to find out more about "Freedom from Anxiety in
Ministry."
Anyway, I have great news for you ladies! John 8:36 says, "So
if the Son has set you free, you will be free indeed." God has
created all of us in so many unique ways. How boring it would be
if all Pastor's and their wives looked alike, acted alike, and
did everthing alike? Let me tell you a little story. In the
beginning of my husband and I's journey into full-time ministry,
we were invited to a regional meeting of the officers of a
certain denomination. It was a dinner engagement with a small
agenda. All the wives were invited to attend. I was so excited
because I was going to be able to meet other pastors wives and
glean from their experience and have the opportunity to rub
elbows with some higher-ups in the organization. I sat down so
proud next to my husband and thought, "Let the party begin." I
began to realize just after a short time that these women around
the banquet table were miserable, did not want to be there, and
had no interest in talking to me at all. Their faces seemed to
tell a horrible story of years of being something that they were
not. Since I wasn't a member of their church, they had nothing
to loose by not being the affectionate, loving, outgoing,
articulate, confident, women they were suppose to be. My heart
began to become grieved for them and I began to pray and ask God
to help me never to come to that place. I talked about this with
my husband and I made a decision that night to always try to be
myself. I didn't want to be in ministry if it was like that.
There were so many other things that I could do to glorify God
in the workplace, and in ministry. Today my life's goal is
helping people realize their dreams in Him, and especially
Pastors and their wives. I have never had so much fun, been so
fulfilled and been so in love with my husband! You can have your
cake and eat it too! Jesus has come to give us life and give it
more abundantly! God has called each of us to be what He has
called us to be, not what others expect. The Kingdom of God is
righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost! Let's live in
that!
Does this mean we don't do anything we don't feel like doing? As
Paul would say, "God forbid!" As Christians, no matter what our
title is, we choose to serve, we educate ourselves, we
discipline ourselves, we strive to be better than we are, we
allow God to stretch us and we give our lives away to others! It
is who we are. It is the definition of love that we lay down our
lives! But............................God intended for us to
reach our potential, to be happy along the way, and to enjoy the
freedom to do so through His precious blood that was shed.
7 Steps to Going Bagless!
1. Self-Educate - Find out more about your gifting and
personality to frame some personal goals.
2. Make a list of your dreams.
3. Make a list of what makes you feel trapped or anxious as a
Pastor's wife.
4. Seek God about 2 & 3
5. Communicate with Husband, trusted friend, or counselor
6. Make a decision to be happy
7. Make a decision to work toward goals and dreams
If you enjoyed this article and are interested in more articles
by this author and other free resources please visit our website
www.murphytoerner.com.
Counseling & Coaching Available: Call our offices @ 225.753.7773!
*If you desire further information on this subject, we offer
life-coaching, personality testing, career assessment testing,
gifting testing, and mentoring programs for Pastor's wives and
women in ministry. Call the office for a consultation at your
earliest convenience.