IN LONELY DESPAIR
Despair is not new to this century; nor is depression, or the
agony of aloneness. Kneeling alone in desperate battle with an
overwhelming sense of futility is not something that only you
face. It is a struggle many of us have shared over the years,
even though we cannot be at your side at this moment. Does it
help to know that, maybe even just a little bit?
We too have fought through the night with problems too large to
be borne. We too have prayed into seeming emptiness, seeking a
God we know is there but somehow cannot reach from the depths of
our despair. We too have wondered why as co-heirs with Christ we
cannot find the ear of our loving Father - for we too
experienced this blackness after asking Christ into our lives...
We too have wept bitter tears of loneliness. We too have
dismissed others' proferred aid as meaningless, because nobody
could appreciate our special needs....
But we were wrong - blessedly, joyously WRONG! We were wrong
because we judged our needs by worldly standards. We were wrong
because we sought a mentor in those around us. We were wrong
because we had missed the personhood of our God, for our God
walked this way, too, before us!
When Jesus said He was the Way, the Truth and the Life, He meant
this way, too - the despair, the utter aloneness. He shared them
in Gethsemane, when His disciples slept. He shared them on the
cross, when He hung in naked agony bearing the sins that cut Him
off from His Father - our sins!
And He shared them to a depth we cannot fathom, for when He
prayed alone in Gethsemane's garden, He knew Golgotha was the
cup to come.
What joy, what bitter joy is ours - this knowing that our
lonely, tear-drenched path was trod by Christ! What joy, what
fearsome joy is ours - this knowing our despair will draw us
closer to His side! And what infinite bliss is ours, to know we
can leave this blackened robe beneath His cross and walk in His
bright fellowship, to glory, when once the Spirit's cleansing
work is done.
You see, through Christ we learn that our despair is the outward
sign of the workings of the Holy Spirit, purging our souls of
dross. Our black despair is the billowing smoke arising from the
roaring flames of the Spirit within us... and even now, although
we cannot see Him, we lie in safety in the crucible of His
all-consuming love.
With that assurance, we joy in our despair!