Fulfill Your Basic Human Needs to Become Healthy and Happy
Human touch and emotional closeness are as important to human
beings as sunshine is to plants. We inherently need close human
contact to flourish and grow. Touch is one of our basic needs.
According to James Prescott, a neuro-psychologist, "deprivation
of physical affection in human relationships constitutes the
single greatest source of physical violence in human societies."
We know any good Mother throughout the ages could tell us the
exact same thing. Mothering mammals know what to do. After all,
Mothers are the ones who perfected our loving behavior over the
millenniums and across cultures.
Uganda babies, from the moment of birth, are placed upon their
mother's breast. Moreover, this is where they stay. As a result
of this direct human contact, the mothers are so tuned into
their children that they can even tell when their baby needs to
eliminate urine or feces.
When a Uganda Mother senses her baby's needs, she takes her baby
off her breasts and helps her child properly dispose of his or
her waste. Afterwards the baby is placed right back on the
mother's human heart area.
This lovely, tender, healthy relationship connection is what all
Homo sapiens, sapiens need to grow and flourish. American
society is so far removed from Mother Nature that we seem to
need a male scientist to remind us of our own basic human need
for love and closeness.
It is hard to believe that Prescott's studies were done in the
1960's. Yet the majority of psychologists today do not use this
information in their treatments with clients. Neither do we hear
of many psychologists or physicians offering human closeness as
a solution to the painful sufferings of humanity.
No, the exact opposite seems to be the case. Most psychologists
are too scared to touch their clients for fear that they will be
accused of being sexually inappropriate. Moreover, most
physicians are so insecure that they do not relate equally with
respect and genuine affection to their patients. Professionals
do not model and teach healthy relationship skills.
>From my observation, it seems that most adult health and mental
health professionals have not satisfied their own basic human
needs enough to teach their clients or patients how to fulfill
their basic needs. You can't help someone else until you help
yourself.
The bottom line is that we need what we need. Trying to act
grown up and above it all simply does not work. We need physical
touch, comfort and love throughout our entire life whether we
are a professional or a patient.
It does not take a science, an art or a psychology to tell us
what we need. We know we need to touch and be touched. We know
we need to touch each other physically and emotionally. We know
that we need to love and be loved.
We must meet our human needs so that we can grow up and flourish
as adults. When we do not meet our physical and emotional needs,
we become weird, unhealthy and violent with each other.
As a species, we have become so alienated from Nature, Love and
Truth that our fundamental needs are ignored. It is a common
fact that Americans touch each other less that Europeans do.
Could this be the reason that Americans are more violent? Yes.
As Prescott's cultural results would suggest, it is The Reason.
Take yourself to task and really examine how you relate to
yourself and to others. How often do you touch yourself with
kindness? How often do you curse what you have just created,
written, or done?
Any little "violent" act you might do, like being sarcastic, not
listening, not touching, not speaking in a kind tone, are Red
Flags that you need to heed. These little "violent" acts are
telling you that you are not meeting your inalienable needs.
When you do not fulfill your primary relationships needs, you
become anxious and scared. Looking at the stark reality of the
human condition. You can clearly see that anxiety and fear
motivate most current human behavior in interpersonal situations
and in global events.
You see self-destructive behaviors, violent crimes against other
humans and outrageous acts of terrorism. To make matters worse,
you see violent acts against the terrorists.
The good news is that you do not have to continue your anxious,
weird, destructive behavior. You can learn to relax, slow down
and meet your primary needs. Don't worry about anyone else. You
can shift into a loving relationship with yourself . Then you
will have loving, healthy relationships with others.
Embrace your authentic self without delay, do it now. If you
listen, you can hear your physical and emotional self just as
clearly as the Ghana Mothers sense their children. Fulfilling
your needs is not as hard as it might appear. There is not an
out of control bottomless pit inside of you. No, you will find
soft, cuddly, human needs that you can actually meet and satisfy.
As soon as you take the next step and choose to meet your
relationship needs, things improve on all fronts. You feel
better, stronger and more confident. You become healthier in
mind - body so that you are more loving toward yourself and
others. Do not wait another day to fulfill your basic
relationship needs.
If enough of us decide to love ourselves, we can surely
transform this uptight, crazy world into a sane and secure place
for all of us to play and have fun. Here, take my hug and pass
it on.