Here it comes folks, The Most Depressing Day of the Year:
January 24
If you've been surrounded by bad energy recently, and it seems
to be building, we now have a formula from a researcher to
explain why: January 24 is the peak of an accumulation of things
we hate: foul weather, debt, fading holiday memories, failed
resolutions and a lack of motivation in general.
In my part of the country, you can throw in allergens. It's
cedar time in south Texas and we are topping the list of cities
in the nation on www.pollen.com . And for some reason the
researcher didn't factor in "illness." It's the peak of the cold
and flu season. Allergens, bacteria and viruses assault our
immune systems which makes us sick, and also over-reactive
emotionally. Being emotionally over-reactive, down, and having
low mental energy, in turn assaults our immune systems. What a
nasty feedback loop.
"It's too cold to go for a walk," we say, and then get depressed
about that; and being depressed, we lack the energy to bundle up
and get the exercise, or even to drive to the gym.
What's happening here? There's also SAD - in many parts of this
hemisphere, it's dark for long hours, and we aren't getting
enough of the kind of bright sunlight we need. SAD stands for
Seasonal Affective Disorder and you can read about it here
http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/27.cfm . With increased
hours of darkness, we produce too much melatonin, a
sleep-related hormone thought to be associated with depression.
Whatever it is, we go to work in the dark and we come home in
the dark; isn't that enough??
It's a full month since that cozy warm holiday-time, and
Valentine's Day is looming on the horizon. With nearly 50% of
the adults in the US divorcing (and single), that's not the
thing to look forward to it used to be, but more of a reminder
of what many consider failure.
What else has failed? Most New Year's resolutions have been
broken by now.
It's depressing to write about this, and you may not like
reading it, except that knowledge always allows us to cope. It
also helps to normalize what you may be feeling. Does it help to
know that everyone else is feeling the same way? It sure does to
me, because it moves me from isolation to connection, and erases
thoughts of my own foibles. It becomes a general mood, like the
holiday spirit. In that sense I don't take it personal.
However, when I wrote about this last year, I received one email
from a distressed young man who thought my bringing it up was
"really depressing," and it was "all nonsense" and he "didn't
feel that way."
I think there may be some over-compensation and denial there,
i.e., someone who over-reacts, getting depressed at the thought
of getting depressed sort of thing. For most of us, there are
some down times, and we learn to get through a bad afternoon, or
even a whole crummy day. Developing your emotional intelligence
helps with this tremendously, of course. There's nothing worse
than just feeling an overall angst and not being able to name
it, claim it, and therefore, tame it.
For many people, much of the time, mild depression, the sort we
get from time-to-time can be assuaged by knowing about it,
developing emotional intelligence, getting some brisk exercise,
sticking to or returning to some kind of sensible health regime,
including a good nutraceutical this time of year, and, well,
just common sense. Perspective and sense of humor help too. I'd
give a Most Depressing Day of the Year party if I had the
energy. (That's a joke!)
Distraction works well too. I went to college in Minnesota, and
so many of the kids had trouble at the end of January, they
instigated a "winter break." It felt to me like the cure for a
sore finger is to poke yourself in the eye with a stick. The
kids who lived nearby went home and had fun, I fantasized, or at
least got to be with loved ones, while (grump, whine) those of
us who lived too far away (airfare being far more prohibitive
than it is today) hung around the dorm with nothing to do
thinking maybe those cancelled classes weren't so awful after
all.
The antidote, someone said, is salt - tears, sweat or the sea.
(The antidote to what? Well, you know, just THINGS.) If you
can't be on a cruise January 24th, you can immerse yourself in
work (it's a Tuesday this year), or put on a Verdi area and shed
a few tears, and last it out, knowing it's temporary.
Another thing you can do is work on your thoughts and self-talk.
Like, if this is the most depressing day of the year, then any
other day of the year is going to be better, and that's
something to look forward to!
Use your EQ smarts and plan ahead. It's probably not going to be
a great day, okay, and it's going to be especially rough on
those who don't have much self-awareness. Schedule a massage,
call your coach, have a good book handy, book some time with a
kid or a dog, and smile!