Tips for Encouraging Self Confidence in Girls
Numerous studies show that girls' self-esteem and
self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls
enter puberty. Is there any way to promote and increase self
esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the
way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes,
there are things that can be done. Some of them you already
know, but a few reminders can't hurt.
For one, limit television. Yes, we've all heard it before, and
it's easier said than done, particularly when there are a number
of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and
advertising can have a negative affect on viewers. Beginning at
very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with
many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle.
While we can't blame the media for everything, we can
acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our
children's self esteem and confidence. Children who learn at a
young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have
problems with body image later in life. Ongoing messages that
things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings
of low self worth if a child doesn't have the right things. As
children age, the "things" can change into a perfect body, and
not having the right things can translate into body image
problems and other self-destructive behaviors.
Provide positive role models. As girls age, they become
increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to
various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it
"sideways" show girls that it's not okay to be angry, stand up
for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings.
Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can
express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low
confidence. Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come
out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders
and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many women never learned how
to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they
themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an
issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own
sake, but for those of your children.
Encourage learning and education. Some studies show that girls
with a strong educational background are less likely to run into
trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are
to make decisions. It's also important to encourage learning in
math and science.
While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely
to succeed in these areas. Encouragement in these learning areas
cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also
prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more
and more on technology.
Of course, this isn't to say that other areas of learning are
less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help
provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.
Help young girls try new things and discover their talents.
Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow
these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self
confidence.
When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be
perceived as a personal rejection. On the other hand, when girls
are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their
talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls
who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in
their life are less likely to seek validation from other
sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.
Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self
confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and
parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing
with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can
help young girls develop independence and confidence.