How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis
A confidence crisis is triggered by setbacks like losing an
important business order, break-up of a valued relationship or
losing a job. When this happens, even a small thing can send you
over the edge, creating an unwanted crisis. To protect yourself
from such a situation, you need to take control of yourself, and
your life.
You must learn to ignore external stimuli. Don't be affected by
what people say or are likely to say about you. More important,
you should not be worried about failure. Believe in the old
adage that you cannot win always. There are bound to be
failures, and setbacks in life, despite your best efforts. Take
them in your stride. If need be, sleep over your failures. You
will wake up feeling good, and confident. Don't hesitate to let
others know that you can handle your affairs. This will build
your self-confidence.
Maintain a diary, and note down all positive things that happen
during the course of the day. You will be surprised to note the
number of positive things that are happening around you, which
you missed earlier. This will help you think positively, and
dispel your doubts. This will also break the stranglehold of
negative thoughts that had lowered your self-esteem, and
generated doubts about your abilities and skills. Repeat to
yourself every day that you are getting better at what you do,
and feel the difference.
Take some time to think about your relationships. If a friend is
having a bad influence on your self-confidence or if the
relationship is more of a burden than a pleasure, you are better
off if you stop meeting that person. Instead, try to build new
relationships with people you like and admire, and who are
supportive of you. Ideally, form a group of supportive friends
and give them your support in turn. This will do your
self-confidence a world of good.
Stop wasting your energy on things that can go wrong. Think
about the worst thing that could possibly happen. You will
realize that it is not the end of the world. Focus on the
subjects over which you have control and reduce your exposure to
events over which you have little or no control. Monitor your
internal dialogue, and silence the negative voice that keeps
criticizing you.
A useful strategy is to visualize a situation that bothers or
worries you. Jot down these points. Think of people who have
successfully crossed these hurdles, and ask yourself if they
could do it then why can't I? Think of yourself as someone who
is brimming with confidence, and is ready to take up the
challenge. Make this a habit. You will find that you too can
overcome these obstacles.
Self-confidence is more than a simple state of mind. It also
flows from your physical well-being. Regular exercise adds to
your energy levels, and makes you feel fitter and confident.
Similarly, dressing well adds several notches to your
self-confidence. Even simple things like sleeping well will make
you feel better. In contrast, drinking to drive away you woes
will add to your unhappiness.
You must also learn to speak up. When you hesitate to speak, you
are doing yourself a great disfavor. Very often, you become a
prisoner of your shyness. You want to speak, but your shyness
does not let you do so. This eats into your self-esteem and
self-confidence. Don't allow this situation to continue. Always
remember that you may know more than your colleague who is the
centre of attention because he has a view on every subject.
Others may find your views more interesting, if only they heard
them.
Also, don't think that you can change your fortunes overnight.
It takes time to change things. What is needed is your belief in
yourself. It is a great help in overcoming any confidence crisis.