Enhancing Your Teenage Daughter's Self Esteem
The teen years are some of the most difficult for both boys and
girls. However, studies show that as teen boys enter puberty,
their confidence is likely in increase. On the other hand,
girls' confidence and feelings of self-esteem are likely to take
a downhill slide. The repercussions of this can be damaging at
best and destructive at worst.
Girls who do not feel good about themselves are more likely to
suffer from depression and engage in self-destructive behavior
that can range from eating disorders, to cutting, to risky
sexual behaviors. Obviously, doing whatever you can to keep your
daughter feeling good about herself is a good idea. The
following tips are by no means all inclusive, but they are a
starting point.
Be a Good Role Model Parents have a difficult job with a lot of
responsibility. However, one of the best things parents can do
for their children is to set a good example. Mothers and fathers
are equally important in children's lives, regardless of the
family living situation. When fathers have solid relationships
with their daughters and show that they love them, girls will be
less likely to seek male attention elsewhere.
Even though it can be very difficult and trying at times to
communicate with your teenage daughter, do your best to
constantly let her know that you are available and that you love
her. This goes for both fathers and mothers. Mothers' roles are
also important. If mothers demonstrate healthy ways of
expressing emotions, emotional independence, and other positive
attributes, it will demonstrate to teen girls that they can
speak up for their needs without having to find destructive ways
of getting them met.
Be Available You've probably heard it time and time again, but
research continues to show that teens who feel their parents are
interested and involved in their lives are much less likely to
engage in dangerous or negative behaviors. Even if it seems your
teen is ignoring you, she probably isn't. It's more likely that
she is listening, but also trying to assert her independence as
she navigates her way through increasing self reliance and the
fears that come with this.
Teens are at a difficult crossroad between becoming more and
more independent, while at the same time having feelings of not
wanting to leave home when the time comes, fears of college,
fears of making a living, and all the other insecurities that
come with the responsibilities of maturity. You can help
alleviate these fears by making an ongoing effort to show your
daughter that you are available. This way, she can come to you
when she is ready. But if she's not getting the message that you
are there for her, she will instead turn to her peers,
boyfriends, substances, or other methods of dealing with her
emotions.
Show Your Daughter that You have Confidence in Her As
appropriate, take means to show your daughter that you have
confidence in her abilities, dreams, and achievements. Encourage
her in what she does well, and encourage her to try new things.
Showing that you have confidence in her ability to take on new
challenges will help her feel more confident in herself.
She will need to face new situations on a regular basis during
the teen and early adult years, and having a support team can
make this much easier for her. Also consider teaching or showing
her ways she can build her confidence, such as taking a stand
against gossip, school bullies, and pressures to do things she
doesn't want to do. Peer pressure at this age can be enormous,
and when your daughter has the tools and the back-up plan (you)
to deal with it, she can start to gain confidence in her
successes.