Does Self-Esteem Even Matter?
There is a new article in the January 2005 issue of Scientific
American entitled Exploding the Self-Esteem Myth. It's a very
well written analysis of what scientists and mental health
experts have found after decades of studying self-esteem. If you
have the time, I would highly recommend reading the full version
of it. If not, I will do my best to paraphrase what it said.
Some of the results were rather surprising:
* There was no correlation found between a person's sense of
self-esteem and their work performance. This means that people
with low self-esteem are just as good at doing their jobs as
people with high self-esteem and vice versa. The studies did not
show that a higher sense of self-esteem makes you better at
doing your job. Your opinion of yourself doesn't necessarily
match your coworkers and your boss's opinion of you.
* There was no correlation found between a person's sense of
self-esteem and their academic abilities. Kids with higher grade
point averages did not necessarily have high self-esteem and
kids with lower grade point averages did not necessarily have
low self-esteems. Students did not necessarily perform at a
level that correlates with their grades. Teachers' evaluations
of students' abilities didn't always correlate with the
students' performance nor with their sense of self-esteem. Your
opinion of yourself doesn't necessarily match your academic
abilities.
* There was no correlation found between a person's sense of
self-esteem and their appearance. That means that plenty of
good-looking people still had low self-esteem and plenty of
average and even ugly looking people have high self-esteem. They
did not find that high self-esteem even made you more inclined
to care about your appearance. Your opinion of yourself doesn't
necessarily match how others rate you on physical
attractiveness.
* There was no correlation found between a person's sense of
self-esteem and their popularity. Plenty of folks with high
self-esteem were not popular nor even liked by their peers.
Plenty of folks with low self-esteem were very well liked and
admired. Your opinion of yourself doesn't necessarily match how
much others like you.
* There was no correlation found between a person's sense of
self-esteem and their ability to get along with others. When
roommates and family members were asked to rate those being
studied on their ability to communicate and to work through
interpersonal issues, it was found that people with low
self-esteem were just as good at connecting and working through
issues as those with high self-esteem. People with high
self-esteem were just as capable of screwing up relationships
and upsetting those around them.
* There was no correlation found between a person's sense of
self-esteem and their attitudes towards premarital sex. People
studied did not have more or less premarital sex based upon
their sense of self-esteem. They actually found that teenagers
with an extremely high sense of self-esteem were more likely to
have premarital sex then any other group.
* There was no correlation found between drug and alcohol use
with regards to the user's self-esteem. Sometimes people with a
high sense of self-esteem consume these substances from a belief
that they are invincible and it's part of the wild and
recklessness that can result from an extremely high self-esteem.
Other times it's a drowning of sorrows that results from low
self-esteem. It can also be a simple curiosity that starts
someone down the path and they simply get sucked in by the
addictive qualities of the various substances. Why someone does
or does not start doing drugs or drinking alcohol can have
nothing to do with their self-esteem.
* They found a direct correlation between bullies and
self-esteem. For years we've been told that bullies are really
hurting and suffering from low self-esteem, that their
aggression was a form of overcompensating. Turns out that isn't
at all true. Bullies ranked as having very high self-esteem and
the higher their self-esteem went, the more aggressive and
violent they were willing to become.
* They did find a direct correlation between self-esteem and
eating disorders. Regardless of gender, low self-esteem
definitely plays a huge factor in this particular area.
So what good is self-esteem? If our opinions of ourselves can
be so different from how everyone else sees us? Too much
self-esteem seems to promote promiscuity and bully type
behaviors and too little can create dangerous issues regarding
body image. What does it matter where we are in-between these
two extremes?
The overwhelming trait for those with a positive balanced sense
of self-esteem is a sense of well-being and happiness. It was
shown in the studies that those with a higher self-esteem would
walk away from bad relationships and unhealthy circumstances.
They were not as inclined to stick around if things weren't in
their own best interest. They were found to have more
self-confidence and initiate more conversations, more dates,
more sales contacts, etc. They are not afraid to step up to the
plate and get into the game of life. It was not a superior
quality that made these people more successful in their
occupations, academics, and interpersonal relationships, but
simply a desire to stay happy and to not be stopped by negative
internal dialog.
Success and self-esteem are something like the chicken and the
egg... which came first? Will a handful of successes build one's
self-esteem? Often, but not always. Does self-esteem lead to
success? Often, but not always. The two do seem to go hand in
hand more often than not. A moderate to high sense of
self-esteem appears to do little more then give us the
confidence to tackle life with gusto. It doesn't guarantee us
friends, love, money, or success. A low self-esteem serves no
purpose other than to talk us out of even trying to achieve
friends, love, money, and success. There are no guarantees
regardless of your sense of self. Improving your self-esteem
won't make you better looking, smarter, or wealthier. It will
however make you stop agreeing to those behaviors, people, and
choices that keep you from succeeding.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge