Embarrassed and Pure

And Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?" but his brothers could not answer him because they were shocked by his presence. (Bereishit 45:3) Rashi explains they were shocked because of embarrassment. True embarrassment has nothing to do with being embarrassed in front of other people. Real embarrassment has to do with being embarrassed in front of yourself because of your lowly character and it is the greatest disposition one can have because it stems from one's deepest purity. Embarrassment comes when one sees clearly and absolutely that they were wrong and offensive. This perception at its peak is at the highest levels of repentance. Not only that, but this painful experience can act as the punishment for the sin. The Midrash Rabbah states: Woe to us for the day of judgment, woe to us for the day of rebuke! Joseph was the youngest of the tribal ancestors, yet his brethren could not withstand his rebuke, as it says, "And his brethren could not answer him." How much more then when the Holy One, blessed be He, comes and rebukes each man according to his ways, as it says, But I will reprove thee, and set the cause before thine eyes! It appears that the Midrash is equating the day of judgment (which means the punishment) with the day of rebuke. In other words, when the rebuke is true and obvious the tremendous embarrassment that it causes actually is the punishment. It also says in Gemara Berachoth 12b, that if one commits a sin and is ashamed of it, all his sins are forgiven. When the brothers saw that Joseph was alive and ruling over Egypt they understood that their judgment of him was a great sin. How to Apply this principle: Embarrassment can be used to help us grow. If you have a particular negative action that you have a hard time controlling, take five minutes a day and repeat to yourself "Its wrong and it's immoral". Once you become clear to yourself that "It's really wrong and it's really immoral" you will have a much easier time being able to control yourself. Try it, it really works! This essay is based on the sefer Das Torah