Conversations, Small Talk and the Secret to Making Friends
Small talk is often dreaded many people. It is seen as the
awkward part of all conversations. Small talk comes before a
drawn out conversation or is just a small conversation in itself.
Small talk doesn't require witty stories or much detail,
actually. Most people see small talk as something you doing a
friendly hello or to take up time before interesting
conversations comes along.
In reality small talk can be interesting, it does not have to be
just to pass the time and it definitely does not have to be
uncomfortable.
The following tips outline some great pointers for how to make
small talk less of a chore and more fun. You will find
information on what to say, how to ease your nerves and above
all, how to keep small talk from getting out of control.
1. Set a comfortable tone.
You do not want to give off the feeling that you are
uncomfortable with the conversations you have. You should take
control of the conversation, initiate topics and keep things
going.
If you sense the other person is uncomfortable then you should
try changing the topic or letting them take over the
conversation. The whole idea is that small talk should not feel
odd or awkward.
2. Start out conversations by talking about something obvious.
If you happen to run into an old friend in the store and she has
a new baby, then comment on the baby. If you are meeting someone
for the first time and trying to strike up a conversation then
look for something about them to talk about.
For example, if they are wearing a shirt with a cute saying or
picture, comment on that. Most people find it easy to talk about
themselves, so that is why this is a great place to start.
3. Ask questions to keep conversations flowing.
Try not to ask the same type of question over and over. For
example, do not keep asking why questions. Mix it up a little
and use them all: who, what, when, where, why and how. Keep your
conversation questions interesting too.
Try to avoid the mundane questions like, 'Where are you living
now?' or 'What have you been up too?'. These worn out questions
can make a person believe you would rather not be having a
conversation with them, but you are because it would be rude to
just walk away.
4. Use a good topic to base your conversations around.
The main things people talk about during small talk are: family,
occupation, hobbies, and anything they are passionate about.
Starting out asking about a question regarding one of these
topics will get the other person talking. You can ask questions
and get great feedback. Starting out with something they know
about will ensure you get them talking.
5. Remember to keep conversations short.
Nothing is worse than a small talk session dragging out into a
full blown hour long conversation. Most people have something
else on their agenda when they begin in small talk, so keep that
in mind.
If you are really interested in what they are saying and wish
you could talk longer then get their email address or phone
number and continue the conversation later.
Following these pointers will help you be able to carry on
effective and interesting small talk conversations. You can
avoid those strange periods of silence where you never quite
know what to say.
You will also be able to make the other person feel good about
your conversation. Small talk can be a good time. You just have
to know the right way to do it.